Tuesday, April 26, 2011


it has been a long time...a very very long time...

i am not promising an actual post in the next day or so but i will be back before summer starts.

last summer was so crazy and off the wall and i wish i would have documented my summer with the three "bels" before forgetting all the crazy stories my friends laughed at and thanked God they were not me after hearing.

see you soon!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

should be working out but going to jump on my soap box instead...

if jeff reads this title he will think this entry is about MY rant, outcry, opinion or disgust with the health care problem/political debate...it is not.

while feeding mari i do what i usually do and check face"crack", i mean facebook to see what is the latest in status updates because what else is there to do with a baby attached to a boob.

a young mother herself has moved from the ftw area to a east coast location and in her new location notices that there are not as many young mothers like herself. now her wording may have been where the negative comments began, however, she was merely pointing out the growing trend in young unwed mothers. sorry people, but it is TRUE and statistics show it follows demographics, religious beliefs and some areas of our country see more...young girls are not as concerned about unprotected sex as they once were and there is not as much fear of being a young mother.....

in my own experience i am the oldest daughter of a young mother (single most of my growing up years), the sister of one very young mother, the sister of a semi-young mother and my own best friend entered parenthood just out of high school. * i personally choose to wait until my later years to become a parent but i made many a hard choices in my younger years to emotionally and physically support sister and be there for my friend.

for me, i wanted to graduate college, i was the first from my mother's side of the family to do so. i also, watched the hardships my mother endured as a young single mother and how it reflected on mine and my sisters childhood. i wanted to do things differently....i wanted the "all american family". i wanted to be able to financially support myself and know i would never look to someone else for my next meal or to pay my rent.

so for me, i graduated college, worked several jobs and supported myself through this experience. i almost married at a young age and often reflect on where i would be if i had done so. i would not be who i am today, nor do i believe i would be in that marriage. so many experiences during my 20's have made me who i am today....i am not as cold hearted, angry or judgemental as i was in my younger years. i looked for and found a love i had never known with my husband. i travelled and established some financial security....BUT it is because of the hard years i withstood as a child that encouraged this choice.

i have seen many young mothers work hard and love their children through those years while still trying to find themselves. and i have seen some fail and continue to as they never grew up enough to put their children first.

i believe whether it is a religious belief, personal experience or the fear of STD's we need to talk to our young people about unprotected sex. as the mother of three girls i certainly want to raise three strong, educated young women who will think before they act. i don't yet know the best way to achieve this.....but, i believe a strong relationship with both jeff and i is the first step. i also believe there is no reason for teenagers to be grown ups....

my point is most young parents truly love their children and could not image life without them. but, it is okay to admit being a young parent is tough and at times extremely difficult. not that parenting at 34 is easy but i believe i have different advantages with my age. it is up to us to encourage young people to achieve financial and emotional security before making choices that can lead to young parenthood. YOUNG PEOPLE....ENJOY LIFE, FIND YOURSELF, BUILD FINANCIAL SECURITY ...YOU HAVE A LIFETIME TO START A FAMILY!

*my best friend stood strong as a young mother, one of the only to finish her senior year of high school, go to prom and walk across the stage at 7 months pregnant. she choose to work hard to support herself and son instead of entering a bad marriage. she waited and found her prince charming. at that time it was more common for girls to quit school vs being seen at school pregnant. she is also the mother of two toddlers now with a teenage son, i believe she would be the first to say those early years were difficult and that she is very grateful to be able to stay home to raise her children. and that parenting is totally different when you older, more financially stable and wiser but she would not trade any of it for her son.

personal disclaimer......i was drunk while posting this............not really, but if i offended you please tell yourself it was the bottle of wine i had for breakfast...........not really, but if it makes you feel better i am crazy.............well, that is yet to be completely true, only slightly and it depends on the amount of coffee, chocolate and alcohol flowing through my blood.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

the best day of my life...

i wanted to post this on october 5th but like always i did not make it on time. Izabel Jean just turned three...i can not believe three years have come and gone so fast. well, really 3 and 3/4 years because i count being pregnant part of our bonding time. i always knew i wanted to have children and many of them. being the "perfect mother" has been my lifetime goal (trust me, i know i am not close to perfect but i strive to be).

2004 was a busy year, first, jeff asked me to be his wifey, then the wedding, then in november i had my third and final surgery for cervical cancer. it was a scary time, one doctor told us stage two, close to three but in the end the oncologist said it was early stage two. going into surgery that day in november we did not know if all the girly parts would have to be removed or not....i was so worried. while i most defiantly did not want the cancer anymore i was mourning the perhaps loss of having our own children. luckily all was taken care of and i kept my girly parts.

2005....i drowned my sadness in almost not being able to have children and worrying that maybe we still may never be able to get pregnant in exercise. i became obsessed....i was even "fibbing" to jeff about my work hours because i was spending three hours (at least) a day at the gym or running. yes, i had the second best body of my life** in october i had my first miscarriage after actively trying to get pregnant since my surgery, it was not so devastating being as i didn't even know i was pregnant yet. then on december 25th i miss carried for the 2nd time. this time i was devastated, i was 7 weeks along and knew i was pregnant.

2006....somehow after two years of trying and two miscarriages in three months we conceived izzy. at this point i was seeing a high risk doctor and after many test discovered my body does not produce enough folic acid. those first 12 weeks i worried so much about this baby growing in my womb. i would leave my spin class as soon as my heart rate went up past 138...i held my breathe with each and every cramp. which were just my uterus stretching to accommodate this baby. so at 8 weeks when jeff and i heard our "it's" heartbeat for the first time i cried and continued to do so for the next four weeks. (my poor husband) at 13 weeks we started to tell our closest friends and on mother's day we told the grandmas. at 20 weeks i was not concerned if we were having a girl or a boy....i just wanted to know all the baby's organs and limbs were there. however, once i knew we were having a daughter i was elated. at that moment we knew you would be izzy jean. (at the time using elizabeth instead of izabel).

of course my due date came and went and i forced jeff to walk several very slow miles each night in hopes of izzy's arrival. i also ate lots of jalapenos....yeah none of those old wise tales work. my labor started on october 4th, after tracking the contractions for 5 hours we headed to the hospital with contractions every 5 minutes. after the routine checks we were sent home with pain meds because with each contraction i thought she would pop out of my spine. at 5:30 that next morning my water broke and off we went back to the hospital, five days after my due date. labor was tough...okay that is putting it mildly, it was miserable. this close to 8lb baby (as my doctor thought) was sunnyside up and all my labor was in my back. *** after almost 4 hours of pushing, a nurse straddling me and jeff a shade of very white (though i have to say he was an amazing birth partner all three times) our first daughter was born at 9lb 4oz and 22" long. because of her size izzy needed a bottle of formula to stabilize her sugar count and my exhaustion from 4 hours of hard labor jeff was the first to hold her.

flash forward 3 years and here we are with three girls and yet, every time i look at izzy i know she will always hold a special place in our hearts. she changed our lives, our marriage and our began our family. happy birthday izabel jean....mommy and daddy love you bunches!

**first was five years earlier during my last year in college.....i was broke and ate beans and tuna fish and ran 40 miles a week.

***two out of three of the girls were like this....annie was by far the easiest birth because she was in the canal correctly without help from the ole doc.

Monday, September 28, 2009

i stand corrected..

well, after my last post i received a message full of knowledge on hypothyroidism (thank you sherry)....and i must apologize for my uneducated post. it is actually hyperthyroidism that i have tested positive for, which makes more senses....hyper meaning "active". so, really my thyroid test shows that i should be losing more weight than i am. based on this i am turning a new page....i will share with you exactly what i eat this week. (yes, really interesting stuff on this blog)

we are prepping the house for izzy's third birthday. amazing how the idea of a few people coming over makes me FREAK out about my home. i spent last thursday working on the garage. i would love to have a garage where everything has a place and labels to remind us where everything belongs. if possible i could totally be OCD.....i bought a new label maker last week and i am holding myself back because i want to label everything! i have started with the girls closet. as i have stated before i have given up most of my personal spending in exchange for help with our mountains of laundry. which is great and all, however, i am beginning to find my OCD ways beginning to creep in. Dolce "household helper" does not always put the girls clothes up correctly; the pjs are mixed with the daily wear and even more offensive the hung clothing is not hung in order. like i assume everyone would do, sleeveless shirts to cap sleeve to short sleeve to short sleeve collared to 3/4 length to long sleeve t-shirts to long sleeve collared and of course, from white to dark. so every week i go behind her and rearrange what has been put up incorrectly. i have decided once i finish the labels this week i need to explain my system to her and hope for the best. i feel like such a nut case, that i am considering taking on my mountains of laundry myself again! plus, i kinda would like to spend the $$ on ME again!!**

back to the garage....i realized my husband keeps lots of things. and i know i tend to be a "throw awayier" while i threw away only the things i thought he truly did not need, he spent some time yesterday going back through the stuff i bagged up. after watching the show hoarders i have new growing fears of clutter. (mother, if you are reading please stop now) as a child my mother always had stacks and piles...the kitchen counter would have a pile of mail and papers, the dining room table the same, corners were stacked with books, the garage always had boxes in it. i think my extreme throw it all away and if you need it again buy a new one comes from this...the corner counter in our kitchen becomes a catch all for the daily stuff, cell phones, pens, wallets, etc and every night i look at it and i visualize our kitchen counters growing up and my heart starts pounding really fast....so if you are a trash digger, try our trash cans because you can probably find some good treasures.

so back to my point, we spent the weekend working in the yard. izzy and i pulled lots of weeds and raked and raked and raked. jeff moved rocks, created new flower beds (now just to fill our flower beds) and worked on the massive leaf piles we acquire. for me i miss the gardens we had at our old house. after visiting with the 86 year old neighbor we had in arlington heights this past week i studied our old house and realized i missed it so much or at least the beautiful colors we had everywhere and my gorgeous kitchen. speaking of....still no start to the kitchen here. i have hopes for the new year.......

well, off i go....time to make izzy's lunch and get her ready for daddy to drive her across town to school. wish me luck, i am planning to run this morning with both annie and mari...

have a great monday!!

**i have a friend who is extreme OCD....i hear her panty and bathroom are labelled. i need to go and study her set up. i will take pictures and share with you the beauty of a label maker!

Friday, September 25, 2009

so, i have three blogs started as drafts....something came up, or rather someone needed me and i had to move on. i may post them together as a short story :)

in the last week both izzy and annie have had some kind of virus resulting in coughing after being in bed, leading to vomit (usually in the form of curdled milk), then a screaming toddler, sheets to change, bathing of some sort and finally fingers crossed back to sleep for a bit. in one night i got up 9 times to find water cups, binkies and pass out kisses, plus feed mari around 4am. needless to say, i am still worn out from these few nights of sleep loss. a little cat nap in the afternoon, not likely, it seems the past few weeks i have been going nonstop and my dvr'ed shows are backing up.

i had a routine doctor's appointment last week to make sure my 5 year commitment to no more babies was all good...i mentioned to my doc that i am working out, starving myself and not getting anywhere with the weight loss. he suggested we test for hyper-thyroidism. WELL, i received a call from the nurse yesterday and it seems i am actually have HYPO-thyroidism. WTF....

today i ran just over 3 miles with mari after dropping her older sisters off at school. i was kinda impressed with myself. i guess my time on the elliptical really does do something! i am training for the white rock 1/2 marathon in december. i seriously doubt that i will be able to run the entire 13.1 miles by then but i will be happy to crawl across the finish line if i must.

so not the best "photo" of annie, but this is how she returned two saturdays ago from hanging out at the shop with daddy. it was raining so she had on her froggy boots, no pants and apparently found a marker. i am so afraid my child will be covered in tattoos one day because she loves to write all over her body!!

izzy being the greatest big sister ever....mari now looks at her and starts laughing. at four months old she knows when her sisters are in school and not around. today mari and i were away from the girls for 9 hours and once her sisters woke from their naps she was ecstatic.

mari loves the hotsling....i never used one with the older girls but hey, this mommy needs both my hands 24/7 and if you want to donate yours, i will take them. since she spends so much time in the sling while we are out and about she fusses to be put in her cocoon while at home. this is mari and i while cooking dinner....notice the thumb, yes, she is a thumb sucker. she pulls the binkie out to put the thumb in.

after baths last night "sister cat" was so tired she put herself to bed while sitting in the chair. after wrestling annie around on the floor to brush her teeth i turned around and found my sweet baby out for the night. again notice the thumb in her mouth.....maybe i do want one more baby............

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Are my teeth brushed???

so, it is 10:30 in the morning and i am sitting here with a cup of coffee, maybe my fourth from my morning pot and i run my tongue over my teeth....start to think, have i brushed my teeth yet? umm, i did get out of bed and proceed to the bathroom for those first thing in the morning needs and and well, what happened...oh, yeah, izzy started squeaking "annie is awake" and to keep izzy from waking mari who was still sleeping i rushed from the bathroom. from there the morning has started, change annie's diaper, make izzy go potty, start my COFFEE, check my email via phone, updated on "crackbook" on the little life box known as my iphone (i don't know why this is a part of my morning other than my addition to knowing what other people and some being people i have not seen in 15 years or more are doing.), pour cups of milk, create some kind of breakfast for the girls....then mari wakes up.

anyhoo, it is now 10:35 and i realize i have not brushed my teeth yet!

as you can tell Maribel Codi was born June 1st and since my life has been even more upside down. she (mari) is a breeze of a baby. since being two weeks old i can count on both hands how many times she has truly been upset outside of riding in her car seat. she is a mini izzy, it almost freaks me out. i had her in an outfit yesterday that was izzy's (annie was never able to wear it due to her fluffier stature) and took a picture of mari so i can compare it to one of izzy at the same age. at 3 1/2 months old mari is smiling, cooing, holding her toys and rolling over (one direction).,...i think she will be catching up to her sisters in no time. i am trying desperately to hold on to every second because well, she is our last baby. i say that but if jeff were to ask me about another one in a few years i may say okay...but for now she is our last baby!

izzy adjusted very quickly, actually she is quite the little mother hen to both her little sisters. annie took about 6 weeks to adjust and really is only okay because jeff spends lots of one on one time with her. they are the best of buds....

we are staying pretty busy these days, the girls (izzy and annie) are in preschool, izzy three days and annie two days a week. we have little gym on tuesdays, of which, the girls are in separate classes now, so we are there for two hours....thursday is our stay home day. and by 11:00 i don't know what to do next. we have made the beds, meaning we have jumped on the beds, played in the playroom, meaning dumped all the toys all over the floor, colored pictures, meaning annie has tattooed herself again, and there is no going outside because it is raining again. no complaints from me on the rain, however, fort worth needs more indoor activities for kiddos. i hear in houston they have these places, where they have indoor playgrounds including bounce houses and jungle gyms with a food court that serves more than corn dogs and popcorn.

so, that is a quick rundown of what has been going on here for the past four months. you ask...why did i blog today?? well, part of me has been needing to communicate with adults, part of me is overflowing with sarcasm and smart aleck remarks i am unable to actually say to my children and husband (who is doing well, i think, by the time we are both done with our days we are so exhausted i am not sure we have had a decent conversation in months) and my friend tracie and her blog adventures of a domestic diva received a call from the oprah show. i mean seriously....that is awesome! in the end of the conversation they each realized she did not fit the subject of the show but they CALLED....so who knows maybe david letterman or the ellen show will find me!!

Monday, May 25, 2009

and for some good news....

no, no baby yet....she is officially making it through the holiday weekend. which means i will be in labor before my hair appointment on thursday! i will keep my fingers crossed for a quick pedicure tomorrow....

friday marked a wonderful day for our family! i started the process several months ago of looking for a nanny to help with the girls and well, with everything else around here so i can be more productive during the daylight hours. and secretly, i am needing some time to push my body back into rocking bikini shape, ok, i doubt bikini shape is in the near future, but atleast back to a point where i feel good about myself. i am also extremely nervous about bringing home baby #3....as any nursing mom knows, it can be full time job in itself, so how would i be able to not neglect my two older girls without parking them in front of the tv all day long?

so, in my hunt for the perfect nanny, one who speaks a second language, teaches swimming, cpr trained, creative and patient.....you know that person i feel would make up for all my short comings, i received the news i so badly needed. my mnl, aka the girls' babci, is retiring 6 months early. she has chosen to leave her job in administration at cook children's hospital where she has been employed for the past 20 years to become the #1 caretaker of our family. as is she spends her weekends here raking, pulling weeds, walking with the girls, playing in the mud, and cleaning up after the girls. we are also still working on a much needed office at the shop and she will be in charge of controlling the guys (and they think i am tough). i am sure in the next three months the flower bed in front of our house will be completed along with much landscaping at the shop. i am sure izzy will finally be potty trained and new baby will not feel like she is the third child in 3 years. dinner will be made every night and to jeff's liking a few of those days by his mom. i am positive annie is not going to pack her bags and leave me.....AND fandango our neglected pup will again be walked daily! babci will take the girls swimming and to little gym and once she gets adjusted to taking them out i am sure many adventures are in the future. i imagine exploring trips to the nature center, river, etc will fill the girls summer. as you can tell i believe things are finally looking up here in my hectic world and i am not nearly as nervous about bringing baby #3 home! (husband, don't think this means i am giving up my cleaning ladies or the laundry girl, i will be glad to cut out some of my starbucks runs first....)

well, i must go enjoy the last day of the four day weekend, not that i won't answer the phone when it rings, but there is something about having jeff and cade around all day that just makes life more better for myself, izzy and annie!