sex is the answer...

so, this morning i had an email from my girlfriend commenting on my stress issues....

Here it is:

Amy,
Remember I have told you many times the more sex you have the less stress you will feel. This obviously means you and Jeff and not connecting under the sheets enough, turn of the tv and get naked.

So, here i am first thinking did i send a link for my blog to my m-n-l......maybe i should not discuss this any further. but, i can't help but think this could resolve both of our built up tension. however, let me give you a run down of an evening for you....

6:00--get dinner either prepared or picked up and feed family.
7:00--bath girls/do dishes (i tell jeff it is either or, he can choose which one he would rather do)
7:45--start bedtime routine
8:45--hope both girls are now fast asleep
8:45-9:00--pick up toys and straighten up house (or bribe cade to do it for me)
9:00--workout or go to office and work
10:00--shower or continue to work...jeff usually goes to bed
12:00--leave office go to bed.....walk into bedroom find izzy out of her bed and snuggled up with dad (so sweet, don't want to disturb). decide whether i should continue to work, fold laundry or just give up and go to bed.
4:30am---jeff's alarm goes off and he is up and at up

so as you can see unless we find a way to meet up in a seedy motel room during the day...or wake each other up from the few hours of sleep the other gets it is tough to find that special "alone time" in our home. however, i just may have to put some effort into using sex as a stress relief because it may be the most economical solution plus it just might make my husband a bit more happy.

this is a video i took on the camera last week when we had all that rain and several days of 80 degree weather. it is of the creek in our backyard. i can not believe how fast it gets to going when it really rains. we really must put a fence up between the front half of the backyard and the creek before next spring.

WANTED--simple stress relief...

so, once again, i have been extremely busy. i actually ran out of clean underpants the other day because i can not keep up with the laundry (yeah, i know i need to check into what the hold up is on my extra laundry help) so i ran around commando all day. we are almost done with the new shop and this has been taking a lot of time from my limited time already, we be moving in this weekend. just getting the permanent power up there has been a total nightmare, then we put off the security guy, well guy, phone guy, pest control guy* so i had to meet all these people in the past three days (usually we both girls in the suv and my brand new dvd player is not working and i can not get replaced until friday. what did parents do before tvs were available in the car???) . i am hoping so very soon i will have more time to sit down and hang out with a glass of wine and my favorite computer. in the meantime here are a few pictures of the girls and there many ways at helping stay sane. (sometimes)

this is how we entertain the girls while preparing dinner. (oh, yeah i have only cooked twice in the past two weeks)annie doing her daily squats

daddy showing annie how to improve her technique!

izzy showing off her new backpack and lunch box for school. she is so excited! i hope this carries over to the first day and that moment she realized mommy is leaving her there.

ps. dear husband has started a blog....we will see if he keeps it up and if he does i will post his link, so you can see how my better half thinks....we are totally different.

pss. i have lost 5lbs but it is not coming off like i hoped for...this may have to do with my diet, i am sure.

**walking through the back metal building the other day i saw dozens of snake skins. not like the ones you would see at the zoo, you know anywhere from 6" to a foot, no these were like 6ft to 8 ft long. while i handled this with just a few skips of the heartbeat, i can only imagine how i would feel if confronted by one of these "bull" snakes. i feel like i would be okay and not freak like i do when confronted by a spider (future blog idea....all my nutty fears) but i am sure while i immediately stop breathing i would probably pee in my pants a little bit, shout something like *&%#$ and run backwards so fast i end up tripping over my own feet.

public warning....again.

hey moms and probably some of you dads out there i have one that is just itching away inside for me to rant on...let me set the scene for you before i jump on that damn soapbox i love to stand on and wave my finger at all those little people below, you know the ones i am certain i am better than.
so, here is the scene.....pushing double big as a house jogging stroller (for those looking, i personally recommend the bob) out the doors of dillards this afternoon. izzy sitting on the edge as she likes to do with every other person walking past us lunging for her as if i don't know she may fall off any second (by the way she won't and if she doesn't the ground is not that far away) and me carrying baby "oh my goodness how can this child be so heavy" because she has had enough of the stroller for one day. anyhoo, dear nephew is with me but he at this point is too into checking out the all the "wow do your parents know you wore that outfit to the mall where there will most likely be teenage boys looking you up and down" girls to notice my struggle to the monster suv. (off subject, but, thank you for the huge drop in the price of gas, i was beginning to think i might have to drive a prius with a wagon attached to the back of it and furniture straps to tie off my monster stroller to the roof) i start the truck before we get in to start the air....take first baby to the back and whip out my handy dandy box with everything one may need from changing a diaper to mapping out a cross atlantic trip in my boat of a truck in it and begin the diaper change. i have gotten pretty good at this because used to i would have to hit the remote start button again before i finished but now i can complete all pre-travel tasks before the 10 minute remote start shuts off. ok, ok....with izzy bouncing around the seats in the middle and annie screaming and squirming out of the diaper change i notice a white cadillac packed full of young girls sitting there staring me down waiting for my front row spot and my blood starts to rise. ok, annie now safely buckled in, chase izzy down in the back, changer her diaper, wipe cookie from hands and face, find sippy cup full of who knows what, and strap her in and all the while white cadillac is still sitting there waiting for my spot. and i could possibly understand if i was parked outside the gallaria in dallas but i am at ridgmar mall, not exactly the busiest place and this is why i go there. now to folding up monster stroller and loading it, oops forgot to unload bags from underneath, ok, now put stroller in back of suv. walking to the front and damn it both binkies are in the side pockets of stroller....go to back, pull out stroller, find binkies, reload stroller and close door. and all the while there they are still blocking the aisle and staring daggers through me, as if i caused a ripple in their day. at this point i want to walk calmly over to their car, which surely is a parent's car, right.....and let them know the empty spot four spaces over is still empty and right now i think my children and i may watch several episodes of barney in the back of said suv and possibly order pizza because i would love to ruin their day! but i didn't......
and it is not just teenagers who do this, but adults....visiting my not so friendly walmart the last several times and i am amazed at how many people will sit there and wait while i unload 30+ bags into my truck, buckle both girls and put up my buggies. seriously people a few extras is not going to kill you, it may help you hit the recommended 10,000 steps a day. i will have to find a comical way to endure these happenings because they really make me want to straight up freak out on someone and it just might be the friendly starbuck barista who forgets to hand me izzy's vanilla milk box or pours one to many ounces of heavily caloried cream into my coffee.
i am open to suggestions or even the name of a super awesome anger management counselor.

bullfrog or husband...

you are saying to yourself what....unless you are like me and your husband/wife (sorry krista) is a severe snorer (is that a word) than you know exactly where i am going. sitting in the living room the sound of the bullfrogs outside are so loud i feel as if they are inside the fireplace.echoing of the brick walls and bellowing out trying to fill my very otherwise quiet house. it has been this way for the past few nights, i am sure the cooler, moister and all around better evening air is bringing them out of their little froggie homes for an all night croakfest. i bet there are at least 20 of them in the froggie orchestra being conducted in our backyard. why would this sound make my skin crawl to the point i feel like i should either go in the kitchen and eat my way through anything sweet i can find (oh, yeah, if i really need a sweet something something i will dig my grubby hand into the bag of chocolate chips i stash away for the banana bread i throw together from the rotting bananas i tend to have lying around weekly. totally desperate i know.) or open up a bottle of liquor like the unopened bottle of knob creek sitting about 10 feet away. okay...back to why this noise is making me crazy....wonderful husband has this small but slightly enormous problem with snoring. i will either be in the deepest of sleep to be awaken by his booming snores or watch two extra hours of tv hoping he will soon choke on his own air or rollover on his side which some how miraculously causes the snoring to stop. you ask..why don't you just wake him up and ask him to roll over??? well, my husband sleeps very little and extremely hard. the guy can sleep anywhere, under a tarp in the rain, the garage floor after a christmas party, the sidewalk with ants all around, and even in the front seat of suv after i have parked it in the driveway and gone inside to bed myself. so waking him up to roll over because his snoring is now waking up the girls is near to impossible. most of all, i like it when he actually gets upset or rather mad at me for asking him to roll over. yes, husband i know you can not control your snoring but please feel our pain and understand it is not fair to us to sit up wondering who will be louder tonight the bullfrogs out back or you.
anyhoo, since the sound of the bullfrogs is distracting me from working i mine as well head off to bed and attempt to clock in 6 hours.
seriously, i may have to find a way to post a recording of both the bullfrogs and husband snoring and run a survey as to which one is more annoying because i can not tell. oh, and in case you are wondering izzy snores just as loud as her father and together they can clear the room and send me an annie to the couch for the night!

whew....is it over yet?

so, the past two days have been just plain nuts. i swear if i could just clone one more of this awesome, almost perfect me, then it sure would help and i might just find some down time. it all started with me staying up thursday night till 2:30 am working, and even though i was working that late i did not get nearly as far along as i needed being jeff has been hogging the office at night so i am a bit behind (goal is to be caught up by tuesday) again! friday morning my special group of mommy friends and our children all under the age of 3 1/2 went to the circus. yes, this person who was not thinking clearly on handling both of my tots with only two arms at the circus being me...almost failed at providing an enjoyable experience for my girls, my friends and their kiddos and many people around me. first, i forgot how hard it is to enter downtown from the north end and find a parking spot easily....if you come off of the west side you can just slide right into a parking garage without really sitting in any of the downtown traffic. after spending 25 minutes looking for a spot, part of that sitting in line to enter one of the garages, i finally gave up and parked on the street (to return and find a parking ticket because my meter had expired) what felt like half a mile away. by this point, the i am going to get down there early and not be the last to show up extra time was blown and now i am jogging down commerce street with a baby on both hips mind you both weighing over 25lbs (this is because i removed my single stroller along with bjorn carrier stashed underneath it from my truck the night before to put my double monster no way would it even fit in the convention center doors stroller in so i could lug both girls around the mall the night before) to make it to the front door by start time. i must have been quite the sight because i had one mommy stop and ask if i wanted to use her stroller and another dad who obviously dropped his wife and kiddos off at the door ask if he could carry one of the girls for me. so i finally make it to the front all 9 other mommys and kiddos are standing there waiting for me and of course, i ruined any chance they had of getting settled in before the lights go out or to get drinks and snacks before the show started. so sitting in our spot i settle in to put annie to sleep, thank goodness for the extreme noise that comes with a circus or i might have been asked to leave with my fussing baby. with annie bouncing on one knee and izzy sitting on the other fifteen minutes into the show i thought this is a huge what the fuck was i thinking mistake to try and come to a place with a million other people by myself and two children under 22 months. annie soon dozed off and izzy settled down into her own seat and we made it until the last 15 minutes when i thought my best choice would be to leave before the crowd and start the five mile trek back to the truck. oh, while being in the stands izzy noticed all the fancy light toys the other kiddos had but did not pursue wanting one of her own....as soon as we started to leave she realized the tables in the lobby had lots of this things....so as you can imagine izzy left with a $20 light up spinning globe toy. yes, i said $20....as the guy and i played tug-a-war over the $20 bill in my hand all i could think was my dad would have laughed in his face and told me "sorry not worth the money kiddo".
from this point on...the weekend is a blurr. we had my sister's rehearsal dinner, oh, yeah she got married this weekend, friday night and the wedding saturday.
after the circus i stopped by the bank to make a deposit, had my truck cleaned and headed home to put the girls down for a nap. with izzy snoozing and annie almost asleep the guys show up for their paychecks. oh, shit, i never finished them the night before or that morning, so i frantically complete payroll while apologizing to them for having to entertain my youngest and shoot the shit with me, the old lady, when they really wanted to enjoy the fact they were off work at 4pm on a friday, the first time in this has happened in months. now i have an hour and a half to put annie down, shower, blow dry my hair, iron the girls clothes (wasn't i supposed to have someone doing the laundry and ironing for me now. note to self check with cleaning crew on why this has not started) and pack up all our stuff to be at dinner by 6:45. ha ha ha.....
moving on to saturday....i decided to take the girls over to dear awesome m-n-l's house so i can go to the nail place on the westside of town that i love, because damn it i deserve a good, no spectacular mani/pedi. but once again, it is not in the cards for me.....i ended up with one of the new gals and she must have been practicing for the mani/pedi part of the olympics (that is an event, right) because this chick tried to have my pedicure done in ten minutes. this is not cool by me, because i truly love having my feet taken care of, i love the feeling of the "nail specialist" using that dentist looking tool and scraping the gunk out from under my toenails, i love the perfect square, yet slightly rounded corner filing of my nails, i love the warm towel with the mint tingly stuff rubbed all over my feet and lower legs, i love the foot and calf massage that comes with all the rest and i love just sitting there with my eyes closed and feeling like i have nothing else i should be doing right then. funny, because my gal, the one competing for the 2012 (wow, that looks so crazy, like something out of a sci-fi movie) olympics, tried to be painting my nails before i was even done reading "stars they are just like us" section in my trash magazine. by this point i realize i have not had the service i needed, no that i would be paying for a shitty pedicure and i called one of the other girls over to handle the situation before i blew up like the volcano i am. but , it is too late, my toe nails are filed down to the skin and in no distinct shape, she doesn't get that i like the pain of having them dig down deep into my cuticles to remove gunk, nor is she worried about the half ass massage, no really more like slight rubbing she gave my feet and legs (kinda like the one your husband gives you when he is watching something on tv, or on ebay but it sounds really good to you). after my small volcanic burst, one of the other gals finishes my pedi and completes my manicure, but all you gals out there know it was ruined for me. oh, and get this when she brings me back my cc and i fill in the tip (i have to tip no matter what maybe not as much but something) the bitchy gal actually scratches it out and tells me she doesn't what my tip! all i can say is fuck you, you ruined my special baby-free pamper myself for 45 minutes morning!
so, anyhow, i am not bitter, i am over it......we had a wonderful time at my little sister's wedding and we wish them the best of happiness and a partnership to last their lifetime. with us and the girls getting in around 11 pm last night you can bet today is a quiet one with lots of napping. so i am off to watch part of whatever olympic event is on right now, maybe open up a miller lite because, well, i deserve one and count down the minutes until izzy, annie or jeff wake up.

a day under 100 degrees...

here in texas the weather is always a mystery.....some wonderful summers we only have a handful of days over 100 degrees (where is the little degree symbol on a keyboard?) and then some it is just miserable. we are up to something like (22) 100 degree days already this summer. i sure wish we were going up to seattle to visit uncle chris and aunt krista this year. it was so nice wearing pants and sweaters last year when we visited last summer while even the lizards were sweating down here in texas.

anyhoo, yesterday was overcast and a nice humid day in the lower 90's, so the girls and i headed off for the zoo. i actually packed a lunch, snacks and drinks so no need to spend any extra money on junk (plus i am pretty much starving myself this week before my sister's wedding saturday, i hope to live on fiber cereal, myoplex shakes and carrots stix.). of course, with all my planning and packing i did forget one essential thing....my wallet. which may not have been worth driving the 17.5 miles back home to get because i packed everything we should need, except my zoo card, so i either drive home or hunt jeff down and get money from him and then pay for the admission that comes free with my zoo membership, lets just say we made the trek home and then back to the zoo.

one good thing going for us this summer is our tomatoes. i don't know how jeff does it but every year he grows the best vines.....this year we could set up on the cul-de-sac and sell our tomatoes. i could see it now, instead of making a lemonade stand for izzy she gets a tomato stand with four varieties to sell.....my poor children.

while uploading the zoo pictures i found this photo jeff must have snapped of him and annie. i won't share with yall the other photos i found.....lets just say he must have been sipping on the vodka bottle for breakfast that day because there are some really strange, what made him take that picture, shots.

if only i could still.....

PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR! we went to a surprise party for a friend/neighbor of ours last night and for the first time in 2 1/2 years i was not pregnant or the dd* therefore i did not sit long without a drink in my hand......lets just say this morning was rough, okay it is almost 4pm and i am still feeling a bit woozy. only one other time since izzy was born have i woken up feeling like this and i told myself never again. the girls were up at 6:30 and i knew jeff was not going to stir so up i went. it did not take long for the motrin i choked down for the thumpiety, thumpiety thumping going on inside my head to come back up along with a little left over alcohol. izzy ate a bowl of cereal in the living room (usually a big no-no) and i fed annie a jar of fruit while laying down on the rug. the girls probably loved mommy's hang-over because all i did for the next two hours until morning nap time is lay on the floor in the middle of the toys and let them crawl, climb and jump all over me.
once annie was down for a nap i put izzy back in bed with me and turned on curious george for the thousandth time and fell fast asleep. jeff must have felt bad for izzy because somewhere in the hazy of my nap i heard him tell me they were going to lowe's....hooray for me! it was not until i shook the fog from my head that i realized he probably took her in her pjs. so anyone that say my daughter out this morning running errands with her dad in her jammies please forgive me and my wt slip up, i forgot i do not drink to get a buzz anymore, i should only drink a few glasses of mommy juice and stick to being the designated driver when we are actually out in the social world because as proven again today this mommy can't hang anymore!



*because the gal with the big ole belly is always volunteered to drive the over indulgers home. while this may not seem so bad, mind you when your body is working double time 247 to be an incubator for unborn child you tend to tire out quickly. however, if you are acting dd for the evening you usually don't leave until the very end because anyone and everyone riding with you want to live it up. i really have experience in this area because while being pregnant for the better half of two years i was dd for 17 functions.....no, i am not shitting you....this included 9 weddings and a slew of open bar parties. lets just say dear husband had it made....and since annie has been born we have only had maybe 3 functions to attend. i guarantee if/when we decide to have another baby the invitations will flood through the door. this is just how it is....

grocery shopping..and the whip it is

so, this is how pathetic my life can be...here it is friday night and i am in the office working, atleast happy hour in my kitchen was a big hit. i barely made it before the 7:00 cut off time to gulp down a glass of wine and now in the twilight of the evening i have finished my second. ok, i drained the glass an hour ago and secretly have been fighting the urge to have a third piece of pizza.....

the one thing i have yet to do this week or the past three if anyone is counting around here is hit the grocery store. as i stated before we love our new house location and all except i am livid by the lack of decent grocery stores nearby. i can choose from super walmart or albertsons 2 miles southwest both having been built in the early 1900's or the newer super walmart and albertsons 1.3 miles east. while the latter seems a good choice 1) not so happy with albertson selection of meats and produce, lack of cleanness (surely there is enough profit in the grocery business to purchase a power sprayer and clean up the parking lot, there is even a distinct rotting egg smell outside) nor the layout of the store, which to me is very important to the comfort level of pushing two carts through store because i can never get the cart with big seat in front plus infant seat on top. actually i am really impressed with my ability to maneuver two shopping carts with one kiddo in each up and down each aisle around cell-phone talking barbie, bluetooth wearing beehive lady with just a small arm basket yet she is there the whole two hours i am, shopper who obviously does not have a legal driver's license because she/he is always on the wrong side of the aisle going against traffic flow, label reader who stops on every row in the middle of the row to read each and every ingredient on every single item. 2) i am a target devotee...the first time jeff persuaded me to enter the super walmart 1.3 miles from home i wore a big hat, large sunglasses and a moomoo just in case the target we see you trader spies happen to notice me. i will admit if i am thinking the 18.9 trek miles across town to a clean well organized tom thumb or even central market is out of the question this particular walmart is not so bad (however you won't see me buying meat or produce from there).

****so i started this blog several weeks ago and i am here to finish it....i went to walmart again yesterday because i just could not get the umph to drive across town to tom thumb or cm but while i used to think it was not so bad....i truly despise walmart now. i went through 8 big blue shopping carts looking for one with at least one seat belt that worked. i figured izzy is big enough if she wants to walk/ride she doesn't need to be strapped in, however, annie may still need to be buckled up, even though i am sure this little hause could crawl and have no problems. anyhoo, not one of the big carts at either door worked, so i put annie in the seat of a regular one and tell izzy she will have to walk. now she loves to walk when we go to cm but there are so many more things to get into there and with a balloon tied to her arm i can see her even if by chance she escapes my sight for a second. izzy had yet another virus this week and with this one came hives.....i promise we wash our hands and all but this kiddo picks up everything. so half way through the store i am carrying izzy on one hip and pushing a buggie weighing an easy 300lbs. before i left i told the manager my dilemma about the seat belts and he just looked at me like i was a crazy bitch and not appreciating the whole walmart experience set before me. needless to say next grocery trip in oh, roughly three to four weeks will be across town at my friendly tom thumb.


by now you are probably calling me a grocery store snob and i will admit to it. i believe that is the first step to admit you have a problem, but don't count on me changing any time soon. i tend to be a bit of a stubborn set in my ways crazy loon