i have not gone anywhere

i have not forgotten to blog....i just have not been in the mind set to do so. please do not forget about me and my crazy rant here but i need to find a time to sit down with a glass of wine or rather maybe a bottle and tell you the story of our friend cody......i feel i can not move forward until i express what is so heavy on my heart right now.

as i am really really behind from all i have been doing in the past week to deal with this loss, once i am caught up (or at least not drowning) i will share with you my love for this man that touched our family in so many ways.

love y'all and please continue to check on me.....i need to know you are there.

such a difficult time...

we are having a really difficult and extremely emotional time in our home this week. we lost our family's best friend this past weekend. if you may some how reach us through my blog and have not hear i want to post Cody's memorial information....

Friends and Family~

By now most of you have heard we lost Cody Whitehall Sunday morning. He passed away in his sleep due to complications from sleep apnea.

We will be hosting a memorial for Cody Thursday at Kelly's Cove on Eagle Mountain Lake (the old Porky's) at 6pm. Please come by and celebrate Cody's life with us.

Please forward this message along to anyone you have in your contact list. Also, if anyone has photos to put in a slideshow we would love to use them. You can drop them by our house, please write your name on the back and I will send all pictures back. It will be very causal, no need to dress up....

thank you for all your support during this time.

so many things to say....

against my better judgement i stayed up till 1:30 last night (or this morning) watching movies with my husband. i think he was watching them...it seemed like he was really into whatever he was perusing on the internet. i think i am just going to run on and on about all the things i have roaming around in my head.
--once i did go to bed last night, i did not sleep well. i can not stand climbing into an unmade bed. there is something about how the sheets lay on your body and the blankets are not pulled tight that makes me kick my legs all night long. not sure why i did not make the bed yesterday, maybe cause the girls and i did not get out of it until 9:30 or that we laid down right after lunch for a 2.5 hour nap. plus, i have not shaved my legs in a couple of days and no matter how deep a sleep i am in if i accidentally rub them against one another it wakes me up with that gut curling feeling like fingernails down a chalkboard.
--annie's hemangioma on her forehead is making me crazy. i just want to take my nail scissors and clip it off. it is barely hanging on which is driving me more nuts. when the whole thing was attached i did not want to mess with it. we finally get into the dermatologist on thursday......*
--friday night has become the night cade has 3 to 4 friends spend the night. not so bad....we like most of his friends and they are pretty good. they may be at the age where we need to lock up or mark the liquor bottles..it can't be long until they start to experiment with tasting.**
--jeff went to new orleans this past week in a 24 hour round trip to look at a job we have been contemplating taking on. in the past, if he did one of these large hotel remodels it was not so bad, i would spend part of the week in whatever city he was in and part of it here working. well, it has been a while since we did one of these jobs.....now we have guys and four other trucks to keep up with, not to mention, someone here in town always getting mad because he is not able to jump at the last second on a "let me tell you about it at the very last moment possible" project. the positives... the hotel is in the french quarter, much better location than the last new orleans jobs and the girls and i can fly out once or twice and do a road trip when cade has a long weekend, this job may send our revenue over a million dollars this year (this my no means we make any where close to that) and it is always good beyond the stress for jeff to challenge himself, he is incredibly smart and thinks everything through so it runs perfectly smooth. the negative.....jeff likes to make the 10 hour drive after working through the night, i am a total wreck worrying about him, he also likes to make the trip driving between 85 and 100 mph, he and i will probably be at each others throats more than normal due to his extremely overloaded schedule and my need of a break from both girls, but mostly i worry he is going to kill himself by the time he is 40 working himself to death. i say this jokingly but i know if i could actually get him in for a check up his blood pressure would be pushing him into an early heart attack.***
--biggest bonus might be that my do-it-yourself husband may let me contract out some of the kitchen remodel (that is probably pushed back to the first of 2009 now). if you don't know jeff, he has a hard time letting someone else do anything he can do. he completed 90% of the labor on the new 3000sf metal building for the shop on boat club himself. he laughed at me when i got a quote to trim the trees in the backyard. by the way, there are over 60 tress back there.....so as for my kitchen, i was told when we bought the house we can do right away and that changed to after boat club is done is probably pushed back to after this new orleans job. i may let him get started in n.o. and then start getting bids....i bet i can get it started while he is gone one week and then he will just have to accept it. (if you read this husband...i would never do that, oh, yeah i do it every time you leave...sorry) honestly, with all the girls b-day parties, cari's baby shower, thanksgiving and christmas, i don't think we could actually tear out the kitchen until the first of the year.
--i lost two more pounds last week....i know it is my diet. while i don't necessarily eat bad food like fast food (except chick fil a and then i usually eat a salad) it is my emotional eating that is killing me. when i am stressed out like most days, i hit starbucks and grab a toffee almond bar. if they would quit selling these i would lose 20lbs easily. then when it is creeping up to midnight and i know i need to work another hour or so, i hit the snack cabinet and munch on cheez-its (don't even like them), an ice cream bar, handful of chex mex or whatever is handy. i have started trying to not eat any complex carbs after 3pm, i need to grab an apple or orange in those late night hours.
--i am going to start training for the dallas white rock 1/2 marathon in december. i will post the weekly workouts and am inviting all my friends to take the challenge with me! i really did feel great last week after running both saturday and monday.....while the elliptical machine is collecting dust in our room because it seems the only time i can get on it is after the girls are in bed and then i have to work, i can take the girls along with me to run.
--well, i have been telling izzy for two hours we are going to go walkie, walkie....so i better do it before it gets too hot!

*i am going to encourage at least one of my children to become a dermatologist because they must be in high demand. it always takes a good month or longer to get into one. this appt. took 6 weeks and that was with me explaining to the receptionist that she is having to wear a bandaid every day because she rubs it and it bleeds.
**future blog....describing all the different personalities of cade's friends. it is amazing how different they are. one of them is actually buying stuff off the interent and relisting it on ebay to make a profit.
***i almost had him in for a check up until the life insurance blood work came back that he is as healthy as can be and in the best condition for his age.

first day of school

well, as usual things are just nuts around here. it is amazing how i try every week to get caught up and it never happens. i know a big part of it is getting the girls to bed earlier again....they used to be in bed by 7:30 and now it has creeped up closer to 8:30.

please notice the shoes izzy is wearing. they were given to us by our friend with a very "girly" girl... the sandal is super cute and i have been begging her to wear them all summer...now as summer is wrapping up she has decided they are the best shoes ever. izzy will probably try to wear them right through winter.

so, izzy made it through her first day of preschool. at first she was so excited and wanted to wear her backpack and carry her lunchbox. she practically ran to the front door of the church and was such a big girl walking ahead of me all the way. once in her classroom she started out great and began playing with the toys but when i told her annie and i were leaving and would be back after lunch she started to cry. well, as you can imagine her crying started the other four children in the class to cry. i just turned my back and walked out the door because i know deep down she would be okay. i also know deep down that if i did not have annie with me there is no way i would have walked out the door and left my first very sensitive baby alone to cry with a total stranger. once out the door i waited in the hallway to see how long they all cried......next thing i know here comes one helper to the room and then a few minutes later another. my rational side knows three adults can calm down five crying toddlers "eventually" and i left the building.

annie and i headed down the road to my favorite running trail in ftw through the overton woods park and some how i ran 4 miles with her snoozing away. this was a huge step for me as a parent....i left my 23 month old at preschool, the child i have only been apart one night from since birth, my sweet daughter the one that would cry until she vomits when i leave her with someone; i took time for myself, a whole hour to run a path that has brought me many a tranquil meditation miles, i ate lunch at chipotle with only one baby to entertain, and hopped right through many small errands.

when i got there to pick izzy up she stood next to her teacher, ms. mia and just stared at me. she would not come over to me......just stood there and stared at me. this is one of izzy's tricks, she has already learned that it hurts mommy's feelings when she does not acknowledge me when i return to her after one of my very few moments away from her. all in all she survived and so did i.......i think we are both growing up!

this is a picture of our bed the other night after baby up-chuck's late night explosion. there was no way i was going to fight her crib and put another sheet on it that night! and of course, izzy has daddy wrapped around her pinky and can get him to put her in our bed whenever she wants. unfortuneltly i never sleep well with everyone in the bed........

baby bang bang.....oops

this is annie nick name now a days....she always looks like she just competed in a ufc fight plus izzy really likes to call her "annie, baby bang bang", even to complete strangers stopping to comments on the girls every where we go these days. people tend to walk away looking completely baffled as to whether they should be worried or laugh.
however, i am starting to think we should call her "baby up-chuck" because every other week or so she vomits after being put to bed....as you can imagine you have 8oz of a bottle mixed with what ever was for dinner puddled in her crib with her laying facedown in the middle of it. most of the time she doesn't try to rollover or move herself from the vomit....i can just hear her muffled cry through the monitor. i am one of those that the smell of vomit causes me to vomit....so, i usually call for jeff through the monitor to come remove the sheets while i am taking off her clothes at the same time holding my breathe....washing baby up-chuck down, putting lotion on her to cover up lingering vomit smell and trying to put her back to sleep.
of course, tonite is "baby up-chuck"' night because the girls did not get to bed until 9:30 after nephew's football game and i wanted to workout. so here i am with her laying on my chest asleep wondering if i should lay her down in our bed so i don't have to remake the crib or suck it up and put her it back together. (if you have never put sheets on a crib, you would not know the major task this is....pulling crib away from wall, squeezing mattress around bumper, putting on mattress protector and sheet, squeezing mattress back in, retying bumper and pushing crib back up against wall. easily a 20 minute ordeal....)
so i will try and tell you about izzy's first day tomorrow...i am off to bed!

adding to the list of must haves...

so, i have decided today to go along with the everything else my husband must cringe and bite his tongue because i am spending our retirement money must haves i need a personal chef. i don't mean someone that comes in every day and prepares three well-balanced nutrient enriched meals; more like someone that comes in once a week and lays out a menu for us. i would expect this person to line out five evenings of meals with instructions on what needs to be done to complete. i could probably even purchase the neccesary groceries...i would be motivated to go shopping with the direction of a professional to what i need to put in my shopping cart. if this magical person could pre-cut and slice all the vegetables, grate the cheeses and will just make dinner preparation like a paint by numbers for me. actually, that is a really good idea, my new personal chef should put color stickers on tupperware to make it really easy for me; something like red for meats, green for veggies, blue for sauces, etc .

i used to love to cook...it has always been one of my passions. i love trying new receipes and even thought about starting my own catering business..nothing to big just high end cocktail parties and fancy birthday gatherings. but, with everything else i have on my daily plate (no pun intended) i just can't wrap my brain around putting together a meal. it is as if i have never cooked before....

breakfast i can handle, eggs for the girls or several different fruits and yogurt, cereal or yogurt shake for me. lunch is usually some pasta with butter and a bit of cheese, boiled veggie, and fruit for the girls (if we are home to eat or it is a turkey sandwich and fruit cup from starbucks if we had chick fil a already that week) and i pick at whatever. but, as you can see it is almost 5:45 and i would rather blog about what we are having for dinner instead of cooking something.

please don't tell dear husband that i am starting the search for the perfect personal chef, to go along with my cleaning ladies who start ironing and putting away the laundry next week, my frequent stops to the carwash because i can't help but feed the girls in suv but can not stand the crumbs everywhere, my obsession with internet shopping, bi-weekly trips for fandango to the groomer, window washer that is going to clean all these really gross windows, and painters that finish my projects because i can only start them but never finish them. and if you do happen to tell him, please remind him i am answering some days 100+ phone calls (not exaggerating, i need to post one day of my calls), making the service schedule, returning emails, sending faxes, working many many late nights, and of course taking care of our two beautiful girls and all this takes a lot out of me.



i am going to post this without rereading it so please forgive me of my typos....i need to change diapers and gather snacks to run out the door for nephew' first football game. i hope to sit down tonight and tell you all about izzy's first day of preschool! i am so proud of her......

didn't get to uncork it yet....

well, here it is after midnight and i have yet to open that bottle of wine i so talked about.....however, i did make a starbucks run at 9:45. mainly because dear hey, i think i will start the school year off on the right foot nephew told me he needed a poster board for a literature project due tomorrow. of course, i responded with "and you are just now telling me".....comment back, "i thought we had an extra from that project i did last february". auuuggghhh! well, atleast he is sitting across from me on the laptop whipping it out and not saying oh well and taking a failing grade. good luck to me when i try to wake him up tomorrow morning.

i guess i better start payroll now....m-n-l was here with the girls today, but i was suckered into helping with the big shop move.

tomorrow nite i have high hopes for opening that bottle of wine. nephew has two friends staying over and i will probably hit the bed about the time izzy does. i plan to wake up with half a bottle of red wine left on the nightstand and a laptop with a dead battery on saturday.

just wanted to annouce....

i love Sarah Palin!!! really busy right now.....wonderful m-n-l is here and i am getting caught up. however, i am still fired up over the calmness, yet progressive, compelling and campaign firing up speech sarah palin made last night. she just might have saved the republican party in this election!

look forward to filling your mind with my mindless chatter tonite with a bottle of wine in hand!

i pick my nose in the car....

okay, not really, i just wanted to get your attention! so maybe i am not as funny as i think i am.

just thought i would share with you our family room only half way through the day...and we were running around all morning!

oh, if anyone reading this is from my myspace page, i have a new addiction...facebook. it just is so much more fun now that i have been slowly figuring out how to use it. look me up if you have a chance.

maybe something funny tomorrow....my m-n-l is off work and going to help me out the next two days....i have high hopes of opening a dusty bottle of wine and putting up my feet tomorrow nite and blogging in a foggy yet happy state of mine.

ps. i got in so much trouble for blogging about my "stress relief plan".....husband believes somethings should remain under the sheets if you know what i mean.