should be working out but going to jump on my soap box instead...

if jeff reads this title he will think this entry is about MY rant, outcry, opinion or disgust with the health care problem/political debate...it is not.

while feeding mari i do what i usually do and check face"crack", i mean facebook to see what is the latest in status updates because what else is there to do with a baby attached to a boob.

a young mother herself has moved from the ftw area to a east coast location and in her new location notices that there are not as many young mothers like herself. now her wording may have been where the negative comments began, however, she was merely pointing out the growing trend in young unwed mothers. sorry people, but it is TRUE and statistics show it follows demographics, religious beliefs and some areas of our country see more...young girls are not as concerned about unprotected sex as they once were and there is not as much fear of being a young mother.....

in my own experience i am the oldest daughter of a young mother (single most of my growing up years), the sister of one very young mother, the sister of a semi-young mother and my own best friend entered parenthood just out of high school. * i personally choose to wait until my later years to become a parent but i made many a hard choices in my younger years to emotionally and physically support sister and be there for my friend.

for me, i wanted to graduate college, i was the first from my mother's side of the family to do so. i also, watched the hardships my mother endured as a young single mother and how it reflected on mine and my sisters childhood. i wanted to do things differently....i wanted the "all american family". i wanted to be able to financially support myself and know i would never look to someone else for my next meal or to pay my rent.

so for me, i graduated college, worked several jobs and supported myself through this experience. i almost married at a young age and often reflect on where i would be if i had done so. i would not be who i am today, nor do i believe i would be in that marriage. so many experiences during my 20's have made me who i am today....i am not as cold hearted, angry or judgemental as i was in my younger years. i looked for and found a love i had never known with my husband. i travelled and established some financial security....BUT it is because of the hard years i withstood as a child that encouraged this choice.

i have seen many young mothers work hard and love their children through those years while still trying to find themselves. and i have seen some fail and continue to as they never grew up enough to put their children first.

i believe whether it is a religious belief, personal experience or the fear of STD's we need to talk to our young people about unprotected sex. as the mother of three girls i certainly want to raise three strong, educated young women who will think before they act. i don't yet know the best way to achieve this.....but, i believe a strong relationship with both jeff and i is the first step. i also believe there is no reason for teenagers to be grown ups....

my point is most young parents truly love their children and could not image life without them. but, it is okay to admit being a young parent is tough and at times extremely difficult. not that parenting at 34 is easy but i believe i have different advantages with my age. it is up to us to encourage young people to achieve financial and emotional security before making choices that can lead to young parenthood. YOUNG PEOPLE....ENJOY LIFE, FIND YOURSELF, BUILD FINANCIAL SECURITY ...YOU HAVE A LIFETIME TO START A FAMILY!

*my best friend stood strong as a young mother, one of the only to finish her senior year of high school, go to prom and walk across the stage at 7 months pregnant. she choose to work hard to support herself and son instead of entering a bad marriage. she waited and found her prince charming. at that time it was more common for girls to quit school vs being seen at school pregnant. she is also the mother of two toddlers now with a teenage son, i believe she would be the first to say those early years were difficult and that she is very grateful to be able to stay home to raise her children. and that parenting is totally different when you older, more financially stable and wiser but she would not trade any of it for her son.

personal disclaimer......i was drunk while posting this............not really, but if i offended you please tell yourself it was the bottle of wine i had for breakfast...........not really, but if it makes you feel better i am crazy.............well, that is yet to be completely true, only slightly and it depends on the amount of coffee, chocolate and alcohol flowing through my blood.

the best day of my life...

i wanted to post this on october 5th but like always i did not make it on time. Izabel Jean just turned three...i can not believe three years have come and gone so fast. well, really 3 and 3/4 years because i count being pregnant part of our bonding time. i always knew i wanted to have children and many of them. being the "perfect mother" has been my lifetime goal (trust me, i know i am not close to perfect but i strive to be).

2004 was a busy year, first, jeff asked me to be his wifey, then the wedding, then in november i had my third and final surgery for cervical cancer. it was a scary time, one doctor told us stage two, close to three but in the end the oncologist said it was early stage two. going into surgery that day in november we did not know if all the girly parts would have to be removed or not....i was so worried. while i most defiantly did not want the cancer anymore i was mourning the perhaps loss of having our own children. luckily all was taken care of and i kept my girly parts.

2005....i drowned my sadness in almost not being able to have children and worrying that maybe we still may never be able to get pregnant in exercise. i became obsessed....i was even "fibbing" to jeff about my work hours because i was spending three hours (at least) a day at the gym or running. yes, i had the second best body of my life** in october i had my first miscarriage after actively trying to get pregnant since my surgery, it was not so devastating being as i didn't even know i was pregnant yet. then on december 25th i miss carried for the 2nd time. this time i was devastated, i was 7 weeks along and knew i was pregnant.

2006....somehow after two years of trying and two miscarriages in three months we conceived izzy. at this point i was seeing a high risk doctor and after many test discovered my body does not produce enough folic acid. those first 12 weeks i worried so much about this baby growing in my womb. i would leave my spin class as soon as my heart rate went up past 138...i held my breathe with each and every cramp. which were just my uterus stretching to accommodate this baby. so at 8 weeks when jeff and i heard our "it's" heartbeat for the first time i cried and continued to do so for the next four weeks. (my poor husband) at 13 weeks we started to tell our closest friends and on mother's day we told the grandmas. at 20 weeks i was not concerned if we were having a girl or a boy....i just wanted to know all the baby's organs and limbs were there. however, once i knew we were having a daughter i was elated. at that moment we knew you would be izzy jean. (at the time using elizabeth instead of izabel).

of course my due date came and went and i forced jeff to walk several very slow miles each night in hopes of izzy's arrival. i also ate lots of jalapenos....yeah none of those old wise tales work. my labor started on october 4th, after tracking the contractions for 5 hours we headed to the hospital with contractions every 5 minutes. after the routine checks we were sent home with pain meds because with each contraction i thought she would pop out of my spine. at 5:30 that next morning my water broke and off we went back to the hospital, five days after my due date. labor was tough...okay that is putting it mildly, it was miserable. this close to 8lb baby (as my doctor thought) was sunnyside up and all my labor was in my back. *** after almost 4 hours of pushing, a nurse straddling me and jeff a shade of very white (though i have to say he was an amazing birth partner all three times) our first daughter was born at 9lb 4oz and 22" long. because of her size izzy needed a bottle of formula to stabilize her sugar count and my exhaustion from 4 hours of hard labor jeff was the first to hold her.

flash forward 3 years and here we are with three girls and yet, every time i look at izzy i know she will always hold a special place in our hearts. she changed our lives, our marriage and our began our family. happy birthday izabel jean....mommy and daddy love you bunches!

**first was five years earlier during my last year in college.....i was broke and ate beans and tuna fish and ran 40 miles a week.

***two out of three of the girls were like this....annie was by far the easiest birth because she was in the canal correctly without help from the ole doc.

i stand corrected..

well, after my last post i received a message full of knowledge on hypothyroidism (thank you sherry)....and i must apologize for my uneducated post. it is actually hyperthyroidism that i have tested positive for, which makes more senses....hyper meaning "active". so, really my thyroid test shows that i should be losing more weight than i am. based on this i am turning a new page....i will share with you exactly what i eat this week. (yes, really interesting stuff on this blog)

we are prepping the house for izzy's third birthday. amazing how the idea of a few people coming over makes me FREAK out about my home. i spent last thursday working on the garage. i would love to have a garage where everything has a place and labels to remind us where everything belongs. if possible i could totally be OCD.....i bought a new label maker last week and i am holding myself back because i want to label everything! i have started with the girls closet. as i have stated before i have given up most of my personal spending in exchange for help with our mountains of laundry. which is great and all, however, i am beginning to find my OCD ways beginning to creep in. Dolce "household helper" does not always put the girls clothes up correctly; the pjs are mixed with the daily wear and even more offensive the hung clothing is not hung in order. like i assume everyone would do, sleeveless shirts to cap sleeve to short sleeve to short sleeve collared to 3/4 length to long sleeve t-shirts to long sleeve collared and of course, from white to dark. so every week i go behind her and rearrange what has been put up incorrectly. i have decided once i finish the labels this week i need to explain my system to her and hope for the best. i feel like such a nut case, that i am considering taking on my mountains of laundry myself again! plus, i kinda would like to spend the $$ on ME again!!**

back to the garage....i realized my husband keeps lots of things. and i know i tend to be a "throw awayier" while i threw away only the things i thought he truly did not need, he spent some time yesterday going back through the stuff i bagged up. after watching the show hoarders i have new growing fears of clutter. (mother, if you are reading please stop now) as a child my mother always had stacks and piles...the kitchen counter would have a pile of mail and papers, the dining room table the same, corners were stacked with books, the garage always had boxes in it. i think my extreme throw it all away and if you need it again buy a new one comes from this...the corner counter in our kitchen becomes a catch all for the daily stuff, cell phones, pens, wallets, etc and every night i look at it and i visualize our kitchen counters growing up and my heart starts pounding really fast....so if you are a trash digger, try our trash cans because you can probably find some good treasures.

so back to my point, we spent the weekend working in the yard. izzy and i pulled lots of weeds and raked and raked and raked. jeff moved rocks, created new flower beds (now just to fill our flower beds) and worked on the massive leaf piles we acquire. for me i miss the gardens we had at our old house. after visiting with the 86 year old neighbor we had in arlington heights this past week i studied our old house and realized i missed it so much or at least the beautiful colors we had everywhere and my gorgeous kitchen. speaking of....still no start to the kitchen here. i have hopes for the new year.......

well, off i go....time to make izzy's lunch and get her ready for daddy to drive her across town to school. wish me luck, i am planning to run this morning with both annie and mari...

have a great monday!!

**i have a friend who is extreme OCD....i hear her panty and bathroom are labelled. i need to go and study her set up. i will take pictures and share with you the beauty of a label maker!

so, i have three blogs started as drafts....something came up, or rather someone needed me and i had to move on. i may post them together as a short story :)

in the last week both izzy and annie have had some kind of virus resulting in coughing after being in bed, leading to vomit (usually in the form of curdled milk), then a screaming toddler, sheets to change, bathing of some sort and finally fingers crossed back to sleep for a bit. in one night i got up 9 times to find water cups, binkies and pass out kisses, plus feed mari around 4am. needless to say, i am still worn out from these few nights of sleep loss. a little cat nap in the afternoon, not likely, it seems the past few weeks i have been going nonstop and my dvr'ed shows are backing up.

i had a routine doctor's appointment last week to make sure my 5 year commitment to no more babies was all good...i mentioned to my doc that i am working out, starving myself and not getting anywhere with the weight loss. he suggested we test for hyper-thyroidism. WELL, i received a call from the nurse yesterday and it seems i am actually have HYPO-thyroidism. WTF....

today i ran just over 3 miles with mari after dropping her older sisters off at school. i was kinda impressed with myself. i guess my time on the elliptical really does do something! i am training for the white rock 1/2 marathon in december. i seriously doubt that i will be able to run the entire 13.1 miles by then but i will be happy to crawl across the finish line if i must.

so not the best "photo" of annie, but this is how she returned two saturdays ago from hanging out at the shop with daddy. it was raining so she had on her froggy boots, no pants and apparently found a marker. i am so afraid my child will be covered in tattoos one day because she loves to write all over her body!!

izzy being the greatest big sister ever....mari now looks at her and starts laughing. at four months old she knows when her sisters are in school and not around. today mari and i were away from the girls for 9 hours and once her sisters woke from their naps she was ecstatic.

mari loves the hotsling....i never used one with the older girls but hey, this mommy needs both my hands 24/7 and if you want to donate yours, i will take them. since she spends so much time in the sling while we are out and about she fusses to be put in her cocoon while at home. this is mari and i while cooking dinner....notice the thumb, yes, she is a thumb sucker. she pulls the binkie out to put the thumb in.

after baths last night "sister cat" was so tired she put herself to bed while sitting in the chair. after wrestling annie around on the floor to brush her teeth i turned around and found my sweet baby out for the night. again notice the thumb in her mouth.....maybe i do want one more baby............

Are my teeth brushed???

so, it is 10:30 in the morning and i am sitting here with a cup of coffee, maybe my fourth from my morning pot and i run my tongue over my teeth....start to think, have i brushed my teeth yet? umm, i did get out of bed and proceed to the bathroom for those first thing in the morning needs and and well, what happened...oh, yeah, izzy started squeaking "annie is awake" and to keep izzy from waking mari who was still sleeping i rushed from the bathroom. from there the morning has started, change annie's diaper, make izzy go potty, start my COFFEE, check my email via phone, updated on "crackbook" on the little life box known as my iphone (i don't know why this is a part of my morning other than my addition to knowing what other people and some being people i have not seen in 15 years or more are doing.), pour cups of milk, create some kind of breakfast for the girls....then mari wakes up.



anyhoo, it is now 10:35 and i realize i have not brushed my teeth yet!



as you can tell Maribel Codi was born June 1st and since my life has been even more upside down. she (mari) is a breeze of a baby. since being two weeks old i can count on both hands how many times she has truly been upset outside of riding in her car seat. she is a mini izzy, it almost freaks me out. i had her in an outfit yesterday that was izzy's (annie was never able to wear it due to her fluffier stature) and took a picture of mari so i can compare it to one of izzy at the same age. at 3 1/2 months old mari is smiling, cooing, holding her toys and rolling over (one direction).,...i think she will be catching up to her sisters in no time. i am trying desperately to hold on to every second because well, she is our last baby. i say that but if jeff were to ask me about another one in a few years i may say okay...but for now she is our last baby!



izzy adjusted very quickly, actually she is quite the little mother hen to both her little sisters. annie took about 6 weeks to adjust and really is only okay because jeff spends lots of one on one time with her. they are the best of buds....



we are staying pretty busy these days, the girls (izzy and annie) are in preschool, izzy three days and annie two days a week. we have little gym on tuesdays, of which, the girls are in separate classes now, so we are there for two hours....thursday is our stay home day. and by 11:00 i don't know what to do next. we have made the beds, meaning we have jumped on the beds, played in the playroom, meaning dumped all the toys all over the floor, colored pictures, meaning annie has tattooed herself again, and there is no going outside because it is raining again. no complaints from me on the rain, however, fort worth needs more indoor activities for kiddos. i hear in houston they have these places, where they have indoor playgrounds including bounce houses and jungle gyms with a food court that serves more than corn dogs and popcorn.



so, that is a quick rundown of what has been going on here for the past four months. you ask...why did i blog today?? well, part of me has been needing to communicate with adults, part of me is overflowing with sarcasm and smart aleck remarks i am unable to actually say to my children and husband (who is doing well, i think, by the time we are both done with our days we are so exhausted i am not sure we have had a decent conversation in months) and my friend tracie and her blog adventures of a domestic diva received a call from the oprah show. i mean seriously....that is awesome! in the end of the conversation they each realized she did not fit the subject of the show but they CALLED....so who knows maybe david letterman or the ellen show will find me!!

and for some good news....

no, no baby yet....she is officially making it through the holiday weekend. which means i will be in labor before my hair appointment on thursday! i will keep my fingers crossed for a quick pedicure tomorrow....

friday marked a wonderful day for our family! i started the process several months ago of looking for a nanny to help with the girls and well, with everything else around here so i can be more productive during the daylight hours. and secretly, i am needing some time to push my body back into rocking bikini shape, ok, i doubt bikini shape is in the near future, but atleast back to a point where i feel good about myself. i am also extremely nervous about bringing home baby #3....as any nursing mom knows, it can be full time job in itself, so how would i be able to not neglect my two older girls without parking them in front of the tv all day long?

so, in my hunt for the perfect nanny, one who speaks a second language, teaches swimming, cpr trained, creative and patient.....you know that person i feel would make up for all my short comings, i received the news i so badly needed. my mnl, aka the girls' babci, is retiring 6 months early. she has chosen to leave her job in administration at cook children's hospital where she has been employed for the past 20 years to become the #1 caretaker of our family. as is she spends her weekends here raking, pulling weeds, walking with the girls, playing in the mud, and cleaning up after the girls. we are also still working on a much needed office at the shop and she will be in charge of controlling the guys (and they think i am tough). i am sure in the next three months the flower bed in front of our house will be completed along with much landscaping at the shop. i am sure izzy will finally be potty trained and new baby will not feel like she is the third child in 3 years. dinner will be made every night and to jeff's liking a few of those days by his mom. i am positive annie is not going to pack her bags and leave me.....AND fandango our neglected pup will again be walked daily! babci will take the girls swimming and to little gym and once she gets adjusted to taking them out i am sure many adventures are in the future. i imagine exploring trips to the nature center, river, etc will fill the girls summer. as you can tell i believe things are finally looking up here in my hectic world and i am not nearly as nervous about bringing baby #3 home! (husband, don't think this means i am giving up my cleaning ladies or the laundry girl, i will be glad to cut out some of my starbucks runs first....)

well, i must go enjoy the last day of the four day weekend, not that i won't answer the phone when it rings, but there is something about having jeff and cade around all day that just makes life more better for myself, izzy and annie!

no baby, a fire and more....

to start with as previously posted my girls love george....annie (18 months old) is sitting on the floor right now belly laughing at the episode playing now. george is carrying a sneezing hudley (doorman's wiener dog) around sniffing for a lost cat in the wall....and for some reason she thinks it is hilarious!

so, no baby yet...again, last tuesday at my weekly appointment my doctor proudly tells me "not much change". while i probably don't need the details of how much my cervix has dilated or how effaced i am....i do wish he would give me an induction date. easy, i would think, "if you have not gone into labor naturally, by ??? we will go in for the induction". however, like i said before, he will probably give me one days notice....oy! life at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant is GREAT! my feet and ankles swell up like an elephant's by 3pm and sleeping is not much of an option. by the time i can get comfortable, i usually have to use the bathroom, and/or roll over because my hip is throbbing. oh, and not to mention all the weight i did not put on in the first 33 weeks is now here. i am trying to claim it as water retention, but secretly i wonder if it is the "stress" snacking i have been doing. now i am at a dilemma, while i would like for baby to come TODAY it is the beginning of a four day weekend and as jeff pointed out this means the "b" team will be working at the hospital, so baby #3 please wait until tuesday or and if you are waiting that long, than maybe make it past next thursday, i have a much needed hair appointment.

annie, aka, bruiser, no we do not beat our child, she acquires the bruises, scraps and booboo's all by herself. my one of a kind child must finally realize that this watermelon growing from her mommy's belly is going to interfere with her life. as i said before, she loves her dada and she adores her babci.....she is one of them, so when she acts out towards me in front of them, they are surprised. i don't mean just throwing fits for me, she tries to bite me...anywhere, on the face, leg, arm; she hits me in the face and her new one was to head butt me. while at the park the other day (which is quite an undertaking in my condition) she wanted the dog leash while climbing on the playground. my not always so stable on her feet child was giving me a heart attack. it is one thing for her to fall off the second level steps with both hands free but how would i feel if she fell because i allowed her to drag around the dog leash, so being the responsible parent i removed it from the situation (her dad and babci would have just let her play with it i am sure and this has alot to do with her preference for them). annie stood below the spot where i hung the leash and cried, or rather screamed for 10 minutes. after 10 minutes, i decided she should sit on the park bench in time out....when i went to pick her up, she throw her head backwards and then forward landing square with my forehead. i casually set her on the ground and counted to like 300...all the while she is still screaming and izzy is just staring at us! so at this point i pick her up holding her arms against her body and we make our way back to the truck. needless to say we may not take another trip to the park before baby comes....

tuesday night after my doctor's appointment i returned home to the girls playing in the backyard with babci. first, i put on a pot of water to boil for pasta and then headed to the back of the house to change my clothes. walking back through the house, i by-passed the kitchen and went outside to say "hi" to everyone. not only are the girls and babci out back but so are cade and two of his buddies. (okay..i had to rewind this episode of george to see if annie would react the same way again...and YES, she thinks it is hilarious) so after talking to my mnl and the girls for a bit i hear a loud beeping sound. at first, no reaction from me, then it became louder and i turned to my mnl and asked her what it could be....her calm response, "sounds like a smoke detector". OH, SHIT!!!! i run up to the house and look inside, seeing THREE feet of black smoke bellowing out of the kitchen i am afraid to round the corner. all i can think is that whole wall must be on fire.......as i look around the corner i see a 2 to 3 foot fire on the stove. not just a few flames, but a full flaming fire! i grab some water...and roll it down the counter (hey, you always read, watch and hear what to really do but forget in the moment) mnl comes running into the kitchen at this point and shouts grab the baking soda and miraculously it instantly puts out the fire. REMEMBER ALWAYS PUT BAKING SODA ON A BURNING FIRE after HOURS of clean up. i mopped the floors 7 times in the next 24 hours....most of the soot is gone. i still see some here and there but the cleaning ladies will dust those spots. the whole wall did not catch on fire, i believe only because the previous homeowners did a really awful remodel on the kitchen and between the ugly Formica counters and backsplash to the really poor paint job on the cabinets they may have saved the wall i am going to take out once our remodel begins. however, the sides of the cabinets are scorched and the vent hood is partially melted. oh, well.....oh, and you ask what started the fire???? the plastic sandwich shaped container on the glasstop stove top that housed my $10 flower sandwich cutter from WS i use for the girls. needless to say at this moment i would rather spend the $10 to replace it vs. the ?$$$ to start the kitchen remodel. my mnl however did stay until the girls were walking down the hall for bed...i believe she thought i might harm them if left alone! (anyone have the statics on how many kitchen fires start from this type of stove top???)

really great news to come soon........

a good belly shot for you.....

i love george....

oh, boy, do i love george.....he is entertaining, funny and most of all adorably cute! sadly, i am speaking of curious george and not george clooney. my kiddos are addicted to the little fur ball. the best 30 minutes of my day is the 30 minutes they spend watching their daily episode. both girls can watch the same 30 minutes twenty times in a row if i let them (and believe me i have had days where we came close to a dozen times). i don't necessarily think this is a bad habit, at least george can be educational and he is always using his little monkey head to problem solve. what is crazy to me is there is not another show they watch that truly captures their attention....not mickey mouse, not cailou, not backyardigans (thank goodness, don't really understand why they have such "cultural" names), nor the wiggles, etc. because sid the science kid comes on after george, they have started watching this one too. i enjoy a lil' sid because i am re-learning all sorts of scientific things, like how we use simple machines everyday, for example, a pulley, a lever, and so on. izzy and annie actually experiment with a pulley on the back porch, so my point is not all tv is bad, especially for this over worked, and extremely tired mom.

annie totally acts like george and may even resemble him a bit...

i had my second of the fun doctor's appointments yesterday. i almost dread the whole last four weeks except i wonder every week how much closer we are to baby's arrival. well, not much change was the answer i received yesterday. i laughed out loud last week when feeling around on my belly my super awesome, and extremely brilliant doctor says, feels like she is around 6lbs, ok, dude you do remember before izzy was born you said it looks like an almost 8 pounder and she came out at 22 inches and 9lb 6 oz with a very difficult labor and we induced annie 10 days early to control her size (a much easier labor at 8lb 10oz and 20inches), not to mention at my last sonogram nearly 10 weeks ago baby #3 measured at just over 5lbs.....so, i am wondering where his thoughts were after making such a comment. maybe it was that jeff went with me and it threw our whole appointment off being that i already told dear doc that more than likely it would be just him, the nurse and me in labor seeing as jeff has been in new orleans. i think the site of jeff may have brought him much joy! point being, no baby yet and no induction date as of yet with 2 1/2 weeks to go.

so, for the bathroom that is still a total gutted disaster, jeff brought home a child size toilet. since it is the girls' bathroom why not install one just their size....and then came the brilliant idea to use a photo of the toilet in the new yellow book ad. here are a few shots from the photo shoot....for more information on how to have your very own child size toilet, send me a message and i will tell how how easy it is to have installed!

for my mother....

as most know, my mother and i have not always had the closest relationship. for the most part i believe now a days we have found a way to get along for the greater good....her relationship with my girls. i just have to remind myself often that my life is my choice and that she lived hers to her best and it works for me....

anyhoo, being that it is mother's day and my husband (who went to bed at almost 3am due to his addiction to the internet) got up with annie and left izzy and me to cuddle until 9am now has the girls out back with his mom entertaining them while i prepare an early dinner. you ask, "why are you cooking on mother's day and 37 wks pregnant?"...well, i truly love to be in the kitchen, especially without interruptions. nothing fancy coming out of here today, a simple prawn/clam boil with sun-dried tomato pasta and from scratch strawberry shortcake. and i wish i could find the time to cook like this every weekend! so, here i am playing on the computer and i finally pull up my mother's blog. yes, she has started a blog too...she may even update hers more than i do these days. and there for the world to see is an entry about me....i am sure she could fill it full of my "quirks" and "stubborn mind sets" but this one was nice, well, more than that, it was exactly what this mommy needed to read on mother's day. so, i will share it with you........thanks mom, for seeing ME, the ME i became from all the good and bad....just remember the downfalls were what made me the stronger, more determined person i am today!

I've always known my daughter was a grownup...
I've just spent the past hour rereading Oldest Daughter's earlier blogs and have been blown away yet again. You see, she's a grownup, an adult, a self sufficient wife and mother and aunt and sister and niece and business owner. If I sound surprised about that, I'm really not. It's just that I sometimes loose focus on it.I read about her sometime concerns about not being the best mother and shake my head because I think she's a damn good mother (Nearly Perfect Grandson says I shouldn't cuss because I sound dorkey doing it. Perhaps I just need to practice more...). I read the occasional comment about hanging off the cliff and have to stop short. I get reminded that just because she acts completely in control and unwavering, that she, too, has doubts and fears.We've not always had the best relationship (translate to: it's been buried six feet under several times, but always resurrected). Some of it's been my fault and some of it's been hers. I tend to think there have been other hands in there, too, but they've been minor roles. I think it's ironic that I don't have a relationship at all with my mother and I'm HER oldest. (But then have to remind myself that MY mother is completely nuts and my daughter's mother is only partially nuts).I just know she got her good parenting skills, her common sense approach to raising her children, somewhere else than from me. I did the best I could with what I had, but most days it was woefully inadequate. When you grow up being a victim, it takes a multitude of "overs" before you can climb out of that victim pit in which you tend to stay buried. (Maybe because it's safe? Well we're not going there because it doesn't matter what the psychobabble crap is...you eventually climb out because you want out).I've seen her smoothly pull off the most wonderful entertaining events, she's an excellent cook, has fantastic decorating style, a good, strong, stable and loving marriage, organized, hard-working. Now before I give the impression that she's a candidate for sainthood, I'll stop. The point I've been heading to is none of these things are what made me realize that she is an adult. It was something totally different for me.About two years ago, I was at her house hanging out with 6-month-old Izzy Doodle when Amy came in the room and sat down with us. As she reached for her daughter, I saw her hands. My stomach flip flopped and I had to just sit and breath for a moment. I was looking at adult hands! Not the smooth, character-free hands of a child, teen or young adult, but the hands of a woman. Hands that had their own tales to tell. I knew (head knowledge) that my daughter was a grown-up but when I saw her hands I knew (heart knowledge) that my daughter was a grown-up. And she had done it, for the most part, without me.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS.....EVEN ON YOUR BAD DAY YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR CHILD'S LIFE, THIS I KNOW FOR CERTAIN. WE ARE ALL INFLUENCED BY THE MOTHER WHO ENDURED BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS TO RAISE US!

i heart my iphone...

so, for my birthday present to myself, or rather from my husband, (does he know my birthday past yet???) i bought an iphone. i have been debating it for a long time~ a) no insurance available, remember annie just dropped my phone in the bathtub with a sweet giggle, b) do i need another reason not to pay attention to the road while driving, if you read shauna glenn's blog you know this can be dangerous and costly, c) am i really the person who NEEDS anything other than starbucks, d) for that same $200 i could buy myself quite the day at a spa.

the pros....a) i work on the go all the time and well, the iphone sure would make that easier, b) i can keep up with my weight watchers with the touch of an application (really there are thousands), c) could my fascination with checking my facebook account be any more dangerous behind the wheel than my watching CNN on my vu?, d) finally, a day at the spa while extremely pregnant may not be worth $200.

so, i bought my iphone and i use it constantly. i never charged my phone in the bedroom because well sometimes people think calling for emergency service at 3 am is a good idea...or i get the "i did not expect you to answer, i just need to have a leaky hose bib looked at sometime this week" call at midnight. but, i can not separate myself from it....i may miss an email, or a text, or even better i may miss a new comment on facebook, so now my iphone charges right next to my pillow. it even has this nice cricket chirp that i use for my morning alarm. now i have not actually plugged my phone into itunes and downloaded anything yet...but this is only because i need to create a new account due to cade taking mine over and adding several hundred songs, i guess you call today's rap music...i prefer to call it &%$#. but, i have figured out how to write myself notes with the service schedule and then email it to the guys, i love that when someone sends you a phone # you can tap it and call without having to write the numbers down first, i love the rolling text conversations, and mostly i love having all my favorite websites bookmarked for quick access.

well, since i am probably the last person with an iphone, this is boring you.....

if you are a facebook person and happen to have noticed my mother's "crazy" comments lately, she had a foot bone reconstruction surgery last week and well, my guess she is loving her "happy" pills. i apologize for her now.....

speaking of, i would also like to thank my youngest sister for setting up her facebook account and navigating mother to my blog. these were my only two sources of venting....i don't think i have it in me to spill my feelings knowing someone will be reading them and in turn have her feelings hurt. i may need to guest blog on a fellow blogger's page....

my bedroom, bathroom and nursery have finally been painted. as many of you know....i am a color person, white/cream walls do not work well for me. i did not realize how much i disliked the taupey color on the walls in those three rooms until they were painted. now i am working on the nursery....sadly, i am not making decisions quickly and am beginning to worry about time running out before the bedding is completed and a cradle in the room. we finally picked out a name, probably won't announce until baby girl #3 is here, i will tell you it was not my first pick, however, i like knowing it is jeff's favorite.

i will post pictures of the changes to the backyard soon.....my husband saw his vision for the 1/2 acre i never did, kinda like the vision i have for my kitchen that he does not!

WANTED: super human powers...

so, obviously i have not done so well in the blogging department. while i could come up with a dozen or more excuses i really don't have a great one. mainly, i despise coming to the office to blog. i walk in sit down and see the mail, the bills to be paid, the vendor invoices, the long list of people not paying us, etc and my head wants to explode, therefore, i know the only blog coming from my fingers would be an ugly one. not just ugly but down right debbie downer jumps off the trinity river bridge on I-30 somewhere between pappasito's and botanic gardens.

my husband (can i still call him that after we have been living in separate cities and lives for the majority of the past seven months) is on his way home some time this weekend. i am sure it is only for a few days and only because his brother is coming in town and maybe because he wants to trim the trees and build a chicken coup, however, i will tell myself it is because he misses cuddling at night (dude, don't get upset when i use the entire king size bed for just me, i have become accustom to this), wants to celebrate my 34th birthday and wonders just how big my belly is these days. HA, HA......
things have been a little rough around here, i have been more depressed due to husband's lack of presence and my feeling all alone with the girls and pregnant. not that jeff is one of those guys who keeps up with a pregnancy and all the changes, most of the time he totally forgets the bun is in the oven until he see me and then i see the confused look on his face....uh, how did she get pregnant again......did i know this??? but, it is a lonely world when the only person to feel this creature, i mean wonderful baby girl, kicking, moving, hiccuping is my 2 1/2 year old. who is obsessed with "her baby" in my tummy, especially when cade's friends around; kinda hard to explain to her mommy does not like to "show" the boys "your baby". anyhoo, i have been in a dump....last week i could not stop crying for days, i really was on the verge of calling the doctor to ask for some type of hormone control!

last tuesday went something like this...
we headed out to central market for our weekly buys, rolled through the store quickly grabbing what we needed all the while opening every package for bribes trying to keep the girls still. we grabbed lunch, headed outside, parked the grocery cart, i struggled with both girls back into the store to snag a high chair, quickly shoved without swallowing half a turkey sandwich down while trying to keep some of their food on the table, moved on to the playground, realizing izzy had poo poo, thought about the fight that would follow if i took both from playground, decided playing in poo for five minutes would be okay, received text from cade about lunch money (still has not learned how to give me notice), tried to make a game out of heading to the parking lot to go home for naps.....WHEN THE WORLD ENDED!
izzy was doing great, walking like a big girl, singing, looking at birds when she tripped over the parking bumper hitting the pavement with a skid. as she screams (she has some lungs) i quickly push the shopping cart up to my bumper to keep annie from riding down the hill and into james avery, pick izzy up blood coming out of several places (her chin, lip and nose) try to console her now remembering she also had poo pants, then remember to look over my shoulder because annie was not strapped in for the quick trip across the parking lot to she her throwing all the groceries out of the bags onto the sidewalk. oh, my phone is ringing, of course, my head is wondering which service calls i am missing because kenny was not booked yet for the week. first things first, izzy will not die from crying and bleeding, but annie may hurt herself falling out of cart, so i buckle annie in, change izzy's diaper while giving her bag of frozen edamame to hold on her mouth (phone rings again and again). at this point i am picking food up off the ground and throwing it into the back of my truck and finally look at my phone. (first thought was i will kill jeff if he is calling me over and over to ask me a random question) unfortunately, it was one of our guys, the one who was picking up french doors for the nursery that were to be installed the next day. he has now called me four times during my breakdown.....i now receive a text from jeff, "what, french doors, where" (remember jeff is in new orleans) and i have gone from verge of tears to being so angry i might explode. baby #3 is worked up because my blood pressure is up and i hurl the turkey sandwich next to the yogurt that burst on the pavement as i shut the door to my truck and begin to cry!
i call our guy back and inform him of how he has just sent me over the edge (may have used a few choice words and he and i have not spoken since) and that yes, the french door, that i have not told my husband about yet, can indeed go to the shop until the morning and to never call me repeatedly unless he is on the same job as my husband who has just fallen from a twenty foot ladder! i send jeff the following message, "for the nursery i am doing ALL BY MYSELF" and cry all the way to nw ftw. i never really stopped crying that day until around 9:30 once i ate half a pint of ben and jerry's...everything but the kitchen sink and found my way to bed.
almost forgot, during the whole episode in the parking lot....a dozen people walked past me and stared, a dozen people walked than ran past me while gawking. for future reference, i do appreciate when you offer to load my groceries and explain how many years ago you were doing the same all alone and can "remember" how it is.....the thing is you only offer when me and my children are laughing and singing a song while we do it, you never offer when i can REALLY use the extra hand. so if you see a mom in the position i was last week, PLEASE stop and offer a hand, even to entertain the one left in the cart while the mom tries to determine if the bleeder needs stitches.

on a different note, i am better this week, i can almost see the end to when jeff will be home for a few days. cade deserves a big high five for missing only one question on the 8th grade reading taks test. (i will take some credit too) really, i thought we would be retesting all summer to get to nineth grade, however, math is next week.

i have given up cursing....i realized the other day, before jeff, i would not say the "f" word for money and now it comes out way to freely. (once girls are in bed or i am outside) i realized i have a problem when i dropped a few "f" bombs walking down the hall thinking every one was asleep on the other side of the house to walk past the office and see one of cade's friends on the computer and his jaw on the floor. after apologizing i came to grips that i have a problem....so i am doing my best to control my tongue. not to mention, izzy is a sponge soaking up everything. she has been asking me for days if i got my i-phone yet??? really, she picked up my repeated comment about an i-phone over the last 6 months and connected it!

well, i have officially lost the girls nap time and must now jungle them and everything else again. oh, i am in the search for a nanny....someone to take on some of this so i can work better hours and find some time for ME. i have been referred some great websites but will also take any other suggestions! i was slapped in the face with the fact i really am not super human!

24 hours pain free...

so, either i should have blogged about my back pain earlier or spent several hours in the backyard picking up rocks with the girls because since Sunday I have been pain free. I do know stating this here and now will be like voodoo and the pin will be put back into the little doll, i just hope it is the right side and not the left again.

yesterday was mine and annie's run around day while izzy was in school. we accomplished quite a bit...however, when i returned home jeff had six pallets of grass here to be laid in the back. it really is difficult to express through a photo the dramatic changes but i will give you a few before and after once the sod is finished today. i think he is in panic mood now that new orleans is calling again. i am beginning to feel for myself, as jeff reminded me yesterday;y he is leaving me with even more responsibility...izzy, annie, baby #3 (still no name), five baby chicks (who seem to eat & drink more than izzy & annie), new sod to be watered and of course, his beloved pup and cat. wow, all this and my usual day to day responsibilities...............

i have acquired one trait from jeff over the years that i will admit too, it is the need to read and reread dozens of reviews before making a purchase. i am sure my rambling blogs about which car to buy last year are not far from your mind...i have been looking for a reasonable, hard working, not to big steam cleaner for our area rugs. between the dog, my husband (who does not see the "no shoes in the house signs", the girls and my bad habit of letting them eat/drink wherever and cade (remember he is fourteen) my rugs look awful and i doubt i can convince jeff that i need them cleaned professionally for the third time this year, so after weeks of debate and reading i believe i made a quality purchase. i will rate my new bissell once it comes out of the box.

well, i guess i should quit procrastinating turning on the light and hopping on my elliptical machine...it has begun to speak to me in my sleep. "you will regret not using me the past few months after you pop out yet another baby"......"you know i can tone those thighs again"...."swimsuit season is oh, so close", "get your lazy ass out of bed and ride me".......

a few weeks is too long....

so, i swear don't give up on me....i will get back in the habit of blogging, it just has been tough lately. not that i am at a loss for words, but that they usually are not very nice! and most of the time i do not sit down to enjoy time on the computer (except my addition to word challenge) until the girls are in bed and well, at 27 weeks pregnant, i am usually whooped and headed to bed myself. that is after the 30 minutes of picking up toys, straightening up the kitchen, folding laundry, etc.

i will start with the sad...i put my dear cat to sleep 1 1/2 weeks ago. she was MY first baby, even though her sister was actually my cat and she was inherited when i moved back to ftw from lubbock 13 years ago. kitkat was the more tender aka skittish of the two and for most of her 14 years she slept every night next to me on my pillow. while she did not get enough attention the past few years, she was always there when i went to bed. sadly, it was a hard choice to make, i am not sure she was even really sick just losing her ability to find the cat box. first, the vet suggested re-training her...so, she spent 10 days locked in our bathroom with all her own stuff and it worked for a few days then it was back to urinating next to the box and occasionally when she got out on my rugs in the kitchen. i just could not handle myself, the girls and even jeff or cade stepping in cold cat urine anymore and made the very difficult choice. on the funny side, when i picked cade up from school on friday i told him we needed to pick her up and i think he almost died when i tried to convince him she had been stuffed. however, once the backyard is more complete we will give her a proper burial. until then she is going to sit in the middle of the kitchen table....ok, not really, but her box of ashes (i did not know it is against the law to bury your pets without cremation...makes sense, i guess, i would not want the neighbors dogs to try and dig her back up) does get moved around because it creeps cade out and i get tired of jeff's "jokes".

as a younger, i have a huge chip on my shoulder, don't necessarily believe in love gal, i boycotted valentine's day. i really was a tough cookie to crack....just ask jeff. however, i do believe i may have drained him of all him over the top affection breaking the hard shell that surrounded my "feelings". anyhoo, my big protest to the whole commercialized holiday called valentine's day was to wear black as if i mourned the whole relationship thing. now, well, while i don't hold my breathe for something over the top, i do look forward to the extra sweet hug and kiss i receive on that day. this year we went to a mardi gras ball in dallas. it was too much fun, not to mention staying in dallas and sleeping until my body woke me up. jeff and i danced it up for the first hour and then i lost my "umph" waiting in linefor over an hour to have my cards read. and really, the only thing she said that made me wonder if there was something to this hoax was "did i work for myself" and "did i feel overwhelmed by it".....damn maybe it was just a really good guess!

since then we have begun some of the much needed projects around here. the girls'/cade's bathroom has been torn apart. it is nothing but studs and concrete....which means i need to start putting together the pieces. the backyard, as taken on a total transformation...jeff has been working on moving dirt and rocks for the past five days. of course, all the neighbors have their eyes on what is going on...one has not spoken a word to us and yesterday jeff had to explain to another what he was doing. we had heard that the overgrown mess out back was one of the reasons our house sat on the market so long and of course, the sad outdated room one would call a kitchen, however, as with our old house we are beginning the makeover. stay tuned for before and after pictures....

other than all of the above, i am beginning to think maybe three pregnancies in three and half years was a little too much for my body. the sciatic nerve down my left side is really giving me trouble. i find myself unable to move from one position to the next....i have been stress eating more lately therefore, have already hit my weight max. luckily jeff will return to new orleans this next week and i will return to eating cereal for dinner.

well, i guess i should get dressed, brush my teeth and head out back to help move rocks while the girls nap. i finally downloaded all our new pictures and will post some this afternoon!

random thought...

i changed my daily starbucks order....it is now $3.22....i figure, my bnl can tell my husbank how much i am now saving a year, vs. how much i spend!

all in a day's work....

first....i finally beat my bnl's score in word challenge on facebook. total random thought, but i can not quit thinking about it or the fact he has logged in while in hawaii on vacation to try and beat me again! jeff is like enough with the stupid game on facebook...but, this might mean my brain is not all mush and just maybe i still have a pretty damn good iq.

so reading shauna glen's blog today...she played a game, grab nearest book, turn to page 79 and in comment box enter line 13. okay, sure i will play....nearest book, baby 411 (i thought maybe annie broke her wrist the other day and it is sitting on end table), page 79, line 13......oh, no way, this is can not be right...count again, and again...shit, that is what it says.......
"is my milk drying up?"
so for all of you who don't know, me and my breastfeeding is a private matter self (no judgement to those who can and are more free with it, really). i end up with a booby sentence.....

i must congratulate cade on finally figuring out that a 30 minute shower in the morning, thus making himself late, thus making me and the girls late for whatever we have going on that day is not the best way to start the day! however, my new complaint is his inability to tell me he needs lunch money more than 30 minutes prior to lunch time....hint, hint, kid, i am usually across town at this time and unable to make it. i would think the day before when his account is almost at zero he might think to send me a text from school..."hey, almost out of money..HELP!" and i will make sure to tape a check to the garage door so we don't have this problem. i could always check his account online but i am too busy playing on facebook as you may know by now!
so today....it went something like this...(all in text while in school)
cade: "need lunch money"
me: "i am in burleson, 45 minutes away"
cade: "dang"
me: "what time is lunch over"
cade" "105"
this one does not make sense to me...however, i am in line at arby's about to pick the girls up a ham sandwich so i figure i will grab him something and be a few minutes late. then it clicks..
me: "not what time it starts, how long is lunch"
cade: "nvm...won't make it"
me: "on my way, passing downtown, have food already"
me: "passing northside" me thinking...i am being nice with the update
cade: "---------------" this is his lack of response...i figure, great, paying attention in school
me: "almost there, meet me in office, i look like hell"
so i rush in the doors...office is full of put together middle school moms....i am in my yoga pants (from yesterday), black t-shirt, and pink one on top, ponytail from shower two days ago, no make-up except the bit that has crusted under my eyes from my minor screaming, crying breakdown a few hours prior to this moment. i look around, no cade, but another mother ask me how far along i am....oh, 61/2 or 7 months i don't know really, third baby in three years. as you can imagine the look on her face (wtf it is not that wild....ok, it is a bit crazy, but i am determined to make it) still no cade......awe, cade's friend chris, "hey, chris would you mind taking this to lunch with you for cade?" "sure, mrs. longspaugh (one of the polite ones), but i think he had chicken express, maybe his mom just brought it up here?"
here is me...about to blow a gasket.....i mean, i felt like my head would explode, my heart is pounding, i am thinking, i blew up on jeff today, i blew up on the accountant's helper, and then the accountant himself and now....i am just going to lay down in the middle of this office, curl up in a fetal position and give up.
"oh, thanks chris, would you like arby's for lunch, it even has an order of cheese stix" UUUHHH, sure......"oh, and tell cade he is grounded and will have a list of chores to do all weekend".

so, there it is...i usually tell the kid, sorry, should have told me earlier, yesterday, or two days ago, but instead knowing i have been on a rampage this morning, i thought i would be nice (i was already paying for the girls lunch when i asked for his) and the little shit, played the double text game and asked his mother for food also. i did just receive a text saying it was not fair that he is grounded...my response, "DO NOT ERASE A SINGLE TEXT, I WILL GET MOMO TO GET A COPY OF THEM FROM ATT, YOU KNOW BETTER!" of course, he does not know that you can not get copies of text messages, but the threat worked...he admitted to the double texting and i will now have a mowed yard, clean cat boxes, dog doodoo free yard, dishes done, and x box free weekend!

i did have more pleasant things to blog about...but like i said, it has been a rough one and i might even smell more than the dog who has missed her last two grooming appointments.

off to find a shower and chocolate.........tonight...pictures and happy thoughts!

we are still in our pjs...

so, i am sitting on the back porch with my most loved laptop watching the girls play in a sandbox filled with rain water and sand. I guess it is just natural for my girls to act like longspaugh boys and i figure since their dad allows them to run around in the mud barefoot i better not be the "bad" guy and confine them to the indoors when a mess is in the works. this is why they make bathtubs right???



speaking of bathtubs...as some know our jack and jill bathroom between the girls room and cade's has been out of commission for the past year due to tile falling off the walls. well, it looks like jeff finally has time to oversee the rehab or makeover of said space and i can not find the pb catalog with the photo a bathroom i want to replicate. well, mostly...i have some ideas of my own to add to it. jeff is wanting a picture, something concrete to see and i can not give it to him. this bathroom has been in the catalog for years and has now been replaced. i tried reminding him i or "we" totally designed our kitchen in the last house from ideas i kept stored in the files of my overstuffed brain. give it another week or two and him having to give the girls all their baths because i can no longer reach over the edge of the circle, yes circle, bathtub in our bath and demolation will begin.



for my bitching of the week....it goes to all you really shitty drivers out there! yesterday must have been if you drive like shit and think you make all the rules of the road follow me around ftw driving day. it started with an eighteen wheeler deciding on a green light to make a left turn across three lanes without notice just as i am coming up in the middle lane doing 40mph. i tried to give him a friendly "hey, i am coming up behind you and will have to lay on my brakes hard to stop if you continue while possibly giving my toddlers whiplash honk" which he ignored and therefore, i followed with the "hey, ASSHOLE, you just broke the fucking law while endangering my family lay on the horn". and of course, not even a second glance from him or apologetic wave. next i am leaving my favorite cm to find that someone left their cart to roll across the parking lot coming to a halt against the back of my suv. again, thanks ASSHOLE! i will usually park away from the crowds and walk the few extra steps so i don't have to get upset with the jerk who parks so close to my door i can not put my child in her carseat without pulling out first or the jerk who thinks the paint of his/her vehicle would look lovely on mine does not ruin my day or cause me to react with a note on their windshield. as i am pushing the first cart to the cart holder which is three feet away (another parking trick of mine is to park close to the cart return so i can buckle kiddos in and then return my cart) a too skinny bitch in another suv backs up down the aisle right past me and my 13mo old at a quick rate to snatch the spot 15 places behind her. ok seriously, does that 30 yards hurt you to walk, does it really add more than 45 more seconds to your day??? then i notice she is also talking on her cell phone and putting on lipstick while doing this and it took all i had to walk away and not let her know just what i thought of her driving. i would have but i now fear that i will open my mouth to some inconsiderate person in public and then have them pull up behind me at izzy's school. or that she/he will be a parent in one of the girls classes next year...thus, making things very uncomfortable, not to mention the same parent would probably be on the board of the preschool and somehow my kiddos registration forms would end up "lost in the shuffle, oops, sorry try again next year".



on the brighter side my dear husband is home for hopefully the next month. this being said since jan. 15th the guy has driven somewhere around 4k miles. first, with his guys trip to terlingua, then within 2 days he left for n.o. only to drive back in the middle of the night to be home in time for our super bowl gathering, then left the following day to finish the job in fort stockton. once back from there i thought we were going to have a break but the following day while driving home from little gym/yoga jeff tells me he is in south dallas and headed back to n.o.....ok, seriously i was beginning to worry. not that we both have not worked alot of hours over the years. ** but, there is a difference in driving 8 to 10 hours a day like this plus jumping right into a job once there or home just seems like a slow suicide. it does look like jeff is home until mid march or so....and hopefully some where in that time he will rest.



**i do think the days when i would bartend at night not getting home to 3 or 4am to turn around and be at the ftw library by 9am were a whole lot easier than my now days of motherhood and answering the phone all day. i truly believe nothing is more tiring than mothering small children...rewarding but extremely body/brain draining.

and here it is.....wrapped up with a bow in a child's tale.

i do not usually post things of this nature and most of the time delete emails without reading them if it appears to be a story such as the one that follows. however, my mnl sent this so i was intrigued to read it....with a little chuckle in my throat and milk warming up in the back of my suv i decided to post this one for YOU!

THE TALE OF THE LITTLE RED HEN --

Who will help me plant my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. She planted her crop, and the wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck..

"Out of my classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose. "

Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. At last it came time to bake the bread.

"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.

But the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities..

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy." "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen. "Exactly," said Barack the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.."

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free.

And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared..so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs. Hillary got $8 million for hers. That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that t hey couldn't remember anything.



IS THIS A GREAT BARN YARD OR WHAT!?!

she did not choose me....

to start some random thoughts....

i go to starbucks every morning monday thru friday...if cade is running late, and therefore izzy is running late for school or little gym, i still go wait in the drive thru. i can not imagine making it through the day without my cup of joe. i can picture my bnl adding up the tally now...that is 3.73 a day times five times how many weeks of school a year. i figure i have really not been able to drink in the past three years, i don't smoke, or carry any other bad habits. my shopping habit is focused on the girls because well, why would i buy my larger self a bunch of clothes. i have not really started any remodeling projects in the new house. and i work a lot of hours...without much of a "personal" pay so i DESERVE my addiction to starbucks. i guess the downside is annie is now wanting to have a milk box like her big sister. luckily, i am able to fool her by pretending to poor my coffee into her "milk cup" and she is falling for it!

i only like really crisp apples..if it does not crunch but gives just the slightest bit of mush in the bite i want to spit it out. sadly, the last few apples i have cut have given into the mush.

when jeff leaves with the laptop i am totally lost. yesterday we stayed in all day waiting for the ice storm. jeff gave the guys the day off (may have had something to do with him staying up on the computer till almost 3am the night before). we did have one of our guys 360 two years back and hit an overpass......so that is the official reason. i literally spent 4 hours or more on the computer yesterday while the girls napped or played. i am addicted to the word challenge game on facebook. it was a real accomplishment to get into the top three than finally last week i hit the number one spot only to be bumped down by my bnl in less than two days and i know he has not been playing this game like i have...jeff is leaving for new orleans today and probably taking the laptop so i must use it until he leaves, meaning no food or diaper changes for the girls. i must insist we get another lap top...i mean the computer in the office is for work, right?

my youngest child will eat for an hour if her high chair is parked in the living room especially at breakfast. she loves mickey mouse and handy manny.....i am sure i will receive a comment or two about how i am teaching her bad eating habits but whatever it gives me a moment to wake up and have quiet thoughts or like today write on my blog.

so, the girls have been battling colds. monday morning we rushed them to their doctor for a "nose swap" to ensure they did not have rsv, a severe virus with breathing problems, coughing and just plain ole misery. we were exposed twice last week by two different people so the chances were high. luckily, the prognosis was negative.....however, they do have a bonafide cold. last night annie woke up around 10 with a little hacking and once i picked her up she began the gag mechanism that results in vomit. jeff had
jumped up from the chair and met me half way to catch in his 6ft 4in hands the results of the gag....thank goodness because i have a very weak stomach and would have turned around with the gag reflex myself. once we had annie calmed down and cleaned up i tried to sit down on the couch to cuddle her. she started waling.....and squirming....which is very normal for her, however, once i put her down she ran, yes ran, to jeff and let him pick her up. she curled up in his arms and was asleep in minutes. i could not even concentrate on nip tuck after this....i know i have complained in the past because i have had to do everything for izzy, she always wants mommy, but to actually have one of my babies choose to go to dad over me....i did not know it would hurt so much. now, don't get me wrong i always knew it hurt jeff for izzy to need me for everything but hey, i do provide the hands on care 24 hours a day, i figured it was just natural. so, i eventually picked her up and put her in bed. part of me wonders if this is because i have been putting her to bed awake and letting her cry it out. can she really think i don't love her as much as "fun" dad??? is it because i ignore atleast half her fits....daddy always takes her mind off what made her so mad to begin with???? i can't help but think i need to nurture her more because obviously her nature is to run to her dad. well, it was a long night with izzy waking repeatedly with a fever and needing milk (i could not imagine drinking milk with a fever) and annie coughing herself into a crying fit...i am going to put my feet up and enjoy the last few moments i get to share with my lap top!

25 random things about me.....

if you are a facebook person you know this "note"....it is fun to read and learn random things about everyone.


1. I must turn the toiletpaper roll the correct direction...paper over the top not under. I have done it in other people's houses and in public restrooms.
2. I finished college...it took everything I had for 6 long years but I did it and have never used my degree.
3. I dream of a Master's degree...in what? Changes everytime I want to commit. Once I know...I will complete it.
4. I don't have very many close girlfriends, however, I love the ones that continue to put up with me and my over opinionated ways.
5. I am extremely grateful for my husband and all his hard work to create the business we run together. While it is stressful, it does give us each some freedom.
6. I love going to the movies. Anything except sci-fi and horror. I used to go EVERY sunday until I had children, now I am starting to go every other week.
7. I have an addiction to tv....I dvr way too many shows and get too caught up in the story lines.
8. I have always been a reader. I love books, Harlan Coben is a favorite.
9. I can not stop watching the Food Network. I dvr shows and never recreate any of the recipes. 10. I was in the restaurant business for almost a decade. Everything from waiting, menu setting, party planning, bartending and General Manager of one of Fort Worth's best.
11. Referring to #10 I want to one day open a small cozy breakfast/lunch place, one with a small daily changing menu and a place moms gather during school hours.
12. I love yoga, not the slow let me breathe and think too much stuff, but the hot room, sweat dripping off my chin and elbows full inversion classes.
13. When I run, I am a better person inside and out. It calms my nerves and gives me a place to turn to when I am lost.
14. I have been let down so many times in my life by those I love. It is why I tend to be stand offish.
15. I am not very close with my family, however, am learning how to accept and move forward. I do love and treasure the one I married into.
16. Coffee is what keeps me going...I can not survive without it. We were in Europe for 13 days before I found coffee. They drink shots of espresso, not venti drips.
17. FOOD< FOOD< FOOD...I talk about what we should have had, or what we will eat next. Especially sushi, I could eat it five times a week.
18. I love having my nephew live with us. I have made so many choices since he was born that revolved around his well-being. I am proud of how much he has changed in the past year.
19. I am one of those freaks who enjoys being pregnant. I don't complain about it, but try to push myself to do more with each one.
20. I always wanted children...lots of them. I have a hard time separating myself from our girls!21. I have been in "love" with my husband since 2nd grade. I may have even stalked him at one time. At our wedding my mother brought out class photos from elementary school where I had written all over them I would be Mrs. Jeff Longspaugh.
22. I never regret my life, only look for ways to make it better. I have a strong will and want more than what I grew up with and not just a financial safety net.
23. I enjoy red wine, not just enjoy I love to drink it. One glass will calm the roughest of days.
24. I love to bake....I will always volunteer to bring the dessert. I even bake with my two year old.
25. I am often cranky because my house is a wreck. I prefer it clean and orderly but know this is
near to impossible with a husband, 14yr old, 2 yr old and 1 yr old, not to mention the pets.

no one gets a freebie.....

so, i don't know how funny this is but i thought i would share the conversation that occurred here today....

"cade, time to get up for school, i am actually 15 minutes late on waking you up so hurry."

"whhhaaatttt....josh and everyone else are skipping today" eyes not open, head still turned into his pillow and growling about the light being on.

"josh and who"

"idk, josh and everybody"

"so really, josh is skipping school and you want to stay home and play xbox live with him ALL DAY LONG"

"aaahhhhh, just go, i will get up"

and he did get up twenty minutes later and of course was five minutes late for school. i don't get it, how does this almost 14 year old think he should be able to skip school because it will ice later here. as far as i am concerned if the school is open you are going. especially to math which is third period...i fight you to get up and go to tutoring because you don't want to study for your math test and your teacher is extremely kind in letting you make the grade up in tutoring. (though she did ask him the other day how much his new shoes cost.....still feeling a little uncomfortable with this one. maybe because according to cade and his friends his shoes are the best in all the school. my response, it is a good thing i made you do extra chores to earn the money for them, huh.)

so we will see what the weather does and maybe i will pick him up after lunch. but, i have to say it makes me extremely happy to make him miserable. ok, that sounds awful....i mean to say, i like ruining his over indulged, spoiled rotten attitude he tends to carry.

oh, and while i am on the subject. the next time he says something about jeff having to help him with the dishes i think his "big brother" jeff is going to blow up! i mean really please let me know if i am asking to much from him for daily chores.....dishes (unloaded and loaded), clean cat box (while i am preggos), straighten up room, pick underwear up out of bathroom and take out the trash. for the first time in his short life he does earn a weekly allowance and does not worry about the finances of the household. I WOULD THINK THE KID WOULD BE A BIT MORE GRATEFUL.

well, that is all i have to bitch about today...enjoy your stay at home day, especially if it is in the quiet while your kiddos had to go to school!

i found a time machine...

so, that may be a little misleading for a title but it really is a time machine. nye when everyone spent the night here my children were introduced to the magic of a sound machine. there was one in every room with children sleeping peacefully. annie slept through the night without her usual 4am wake up call. the very next week i stopped by brookstone and purchased my own baby sound machine. it has been in the girls room ever since....working mini (or really maxi) miracles. izzy started last week putting herself to bed in her room, actually wanting to go in there and go to sleep alone. she now naps in there (unless i make her go in our room because her and annie's nap are totally not in sync). the amazing part, is for the first time in her just over two years of age she lays down and does not cry for someone to go nite nite with her, she does not cry while tossing and turning, actually she may not even toss and turn anymore. but most importantly she stays in her bed all night long without even a whimper. i still put the gate up in the hall way in case she were to try and walk around in the night (i mainly do this because jeff and cade forget it is there and face plant every once in a while, kinda like i do over their shoes in the living room). as for annie, like i said if she wakes in the night she finds her own binki and goes back to sleep. the machine has also given me the confidence to put her down awake and let her go to sleep on her own too. i started last thursday at bed time and she cried for off and on for about twenty minutes, then the next night it was only five minutes and since it is only as i walk out of the room. as my courage builds daily, i put her down for her nap today like this and it was 15 minutes of crying off and on but she did it!
so, why do i call it a time machine of sorts...because i am not rocking annie for thirty minutes per nap and again at bedtime. the way i figure it i now have 1 1/2 extra hours of precious time a day which adds up to 10.5 hours a week and approx. 42 hours a month. catch my drift, i can use that time to read a book, blog, veg out in front of biggest loser or actually work, fold laundry and clean up after dinner.
on another note, we left the girls home with cade and his friend last friday night to go to dinner. annie was asleep before we left and izzy had just laid down....i had no guilt over asking a babci or momo to come over and sit for hours in the quiet house and we totally did not panic. cade's friend watches his almost 3 year old sister all the time so i felt he could assist cade if a problem were to arise. i also notified the neighbor that we would be gone just in case a purple golf cart full of girls were to show up looking to "hang out". it worked so well, that i plan to do it again sometime this weekend while jeff is gone for dinner and a movie with any of my girlfriends that do not have plans with their hubbies.
so, other than my work continuing to pile up next to the mountains of laundry that never seem complete, i am finally feeling good! i went to my dr appt yesterday and i am up to 7lb for this pregnancy and starting to panic. (damn that trip to the grocery store) so, i will be trying to get up early a few days a week to work out on my fancy collecting dust elliptical in my bedroom plus walk the loop and hit yoga or weights a few times a week. as motivation i asked jeff today if we could go to clearwater, florida for my birthday weekend in april. while i don't mind being preggos in a swimsuit (no, i am not one with the guts to wear a bikini) i do mind if my legs look the surface of mars.

comfort comes in small packages....

so, i just received a call from my lovely ccr at my not so local chevy dealership regarding my suv i took back in this past tuesday. it appears they figured out the window shocks are not staying on because there is an issue with the balls welded to the body of the truck.....DID I NOT SUGGEST THIS THE FIRST TIME I BROUGHT IT IN! being this is not a problem that regularly occurs gm is shipping two 1/2" balls to the dealership which will take 3 to 5 business days from yesterday (not realizing that the mama with the brain so full of everything actually figured out that meant my truck was not dealt with on tueday but rather wednesday). i am not a sexist person but have to say, men outside of the grocery store do treat women differently. i deal with it everyday being that i help run a plumbing company...most contractors until they get to know me do not like it when they must talk to me not the "plumber".
anyhoo, ccr's next question, "are you comfortable in what we gave you to drive or would you like to bring it back and pick up your truck only to return it next tuesday?" HUMMMMM...let me think about this one.....do i want to lug my girls back to the dealership unstrap them, unstrap, bolt, anchor and all the jazz their carseats to move them back into my truck to re strap, bolt and anchor them in and then know i must do it again in four days??? NO DAMN WAY! i would need to be heavily medicated to think this is an okay solution. i did run the whole scenario past my ccr before confirming to him i would rather not and the buick enclave is a very nice vehicle for the time being.
so, speaking of the buick, we looked at them last year at the auto show and really liked the interior. the front end is a bit weird but it has grown on me in the past two days. however, the price was running closer to my larger suv and in the end we made a different choice. oh, if looking for a new car it was very helpful to attend the auto shop.....you really can do every thing except drive the car while there which helped in the dealership hop. but, i must say i LOVE the way this small suv drives...it drives like the lexus i had as a rental a few years back....it is quick, sharp, and tight (if these adjectives make sense to you...) i like it a whole lot more than the acadia. now don't get me wrong, i would not trade my truck for anything, not the lexus 470 we drove for two day or the mercedes r350 i drove for three day but if i did not think at the time one day (and soon than i thought) i would need to be able to access three carseats, i might have been persuaded to go for the 19 miles a gallon city driving buick. oh, wow, that jsut hit me i will have three car seats to unstrap, bolt and anchor if i must move them after june 1st. i may need to invest in a winery.......
on to other news....i am freaking out over the whole mess in connection to Timothy Geithner as treasury secretary! i am not saying i am totally clean on having always filed my taxes correctly...there is some lenience on how persons claiming tips have to file. however, i am not being chosen for such a high cabinet job! really, he did not have anyone telling him he had to pay 34K in taxes while working for the IMN (International Monetary Fund, had to look that one up). not to mention, as a lot of people do, he did not pay taxes on his household help and tried to claim the over night camp one of his kids attended was child care. seems to me this should all raise a big fat red flag to the senate confirmation team!
and now that it is all over the news...i would like to see president-elect obama's birth certificate myself. not sure why it matters but hey, if someone out there is questioning it, then just produce it and move forth on protecting our country. UNLESS there is a reason not too....i am just saying.
well, the girls are at my mother's today, and i went by the grocery store on my way back, however, i have not unload the almost $500 i spent (i have to shop more than once every two months, it gives me a heart attack) from the back of my oh, so cozy rental and jump on some of the paperwork stacking up in my open file, on the fax machine and in the guys turn in slot....damn i have a lot to do....

oh, you want a perfect survey from me, FAT CHANCE....

so, while i have refrained from one of my bitchfest...i can not help it today, i have some things to get off my chest
to start i do really love my new suv truck...it is just over 6 months old now and well, i am sad on the days i don't drive anywhere. i religiously check all the "stats" that come with new vehicles and yada, yada....however, (you knew that was coming right) the back hatch window has a bad habit of popping off the shock arm, ok, so now i understand why maybe it is hard to understand what i am saying, the shock actually pops of the part that is welded to the body of the truck, therefore, the glass coming slamming down on my head. i must note, i am pretty good at controlling my "words" around our girls, i don't want my 2 year old going to preschool dropping "f" bombs, but i have let a few slip when this happens. it is hard not too...i honestly feel around on the top of my head for blood because there is this wet sensation that occurs after it hits me. after this happened three days in a row (why do i keep using the window you say, i guess i fear over using the automatic door when i am running around with the open and close two dozen times in an hour). so i made an appointment at our friendly chevrolet dealership to have the problem rectified. now i am a bit of a pain the in ass...i want a car, i do not have time to sit in the lobby with everyone else and wait hour upon hour. not to mention the two hell uns i tote around with me everyday. anyhoo, i called to make the appt over a week in advance (plenty of time for them to arrange a car for me) and while they had my truck i wanted the gps jeff gave me for christmas hard wired through the dashboard. all the cords make me crazy....too much stuff in my way for the random i need my tweezers right this second digging i do while driving. and then the genius in me thought, "hey, the carseats will be in the rental, so i should have them clean my truck too".
first, we arrived to the dealership and after showing one guy what the issue was with the back window, i finally meet my "customer care representative". by this point i have the stroller out of the back, annie strapped in (kinda, only part of it fits around her cubby little body) and one of the two carseats removed. which with all the anchors, straps and tightening you do to get them totally secure, it is a total pain in my ass to remove them. and my new ccr comes up to me to let me know there is a problem....conversation went something like this....
"mrs. longspaugh, i am afraid we have a problem, we are out of cars and enterprise across the street says it will be 2 to 3 hours till they have one"
***blood starting to peculate....i am pushing stroller back and forth, asking izzy to stand still and silence my phone which has just begun to ring repeatedly.
"well, this is why i made my appt. over a week ago so this would not happen (again)"
"yes, well the ice storm yesterday wiped everyone out"
"oh, the small storm that hit dallas harder because i drove to and from weatherford yesterday twice to drop off and pick up my girls and never really say a problem or accident"
"well, so we can reschedule or you can wait in the lobby till a car is available"
"well, see this does not work for me...(breathing, or rather trying to) i drove 40 minutes out here, unpacked my truck, unloaded my children, arranged my day and now you want me to either wait in the lobby without snacks and milk for my girls or pack every thing back up and try again another day......i don't think so....(and this is where the bitch in me finally came out) YOU my ccr should have looked at your appt for the day when you arrived at 7am and double checked that i have a car available as i explained to you on the phone that this is an ordeal for me. you need to go back and find me something, this is not an acceptable solution. i hate to say this but we did buy three trucks from your dealership in the past 12 months.".....
and there is was....my ace in the deck....the one that made jeff say "no you did not"....but, yes i did!
next thing i know our salesman...young guy who bales hay on the side, looks as if my children scare the shit out of him,, all the while pretending to think they are cute; comes over with keys to a 2009 acadia.....at this point i do feel like i played the bitch card but don't really regret it.
so i proceed to put both carseats into my loaner as i explain to my sales rep i really did not want to have to be such a bitch....it is not in my blood (ha, ha, ha, jeff spits his coffee right now, that is if by chance he reads my blog)
so, two days later i pick up my truck......first, i realize the detail guys did not clean under the back seat (the main reason i wanted it cleaned) and i know i told my ccr this is what i really needed. second, the following day when i went to turn on my gps it would not turn on, and finally, i am in the parking lot at central market, i pop the window in the back to grab my cart cover and WHAM i am hit in the back of the head by my fucking window! i yell a couple "f" bombs while trying to smile because izzy is looking at me through the window and think....i am calling my ccr right now and giving him a few strong words.
so, i am driving my truck, my two children, and my busy ass self back to weatherford this tuesday to try again.......

oh, i almost forgot, while jeff is putting everything back into my truck last week and i am trying to pay my ticket (cleaning and gps not included in warranty) my lovely ccr approaches me to explain about the survey i will receive in the mail.....and "if you do not mark completely satisfied to every question it is considered an "f" or failing grade against him, therefore, if i have a problem please discuss it with him". (his words exactly) needless to say i reminded him of that damn survey when i called from the central market parking lot........