she did not choose me....

to start some random thoughts....

i go to starbucks every morning monday thru friday...if cade is running late, and therefore izzy is running late for school or little gym, i still go wait in the drive thru. i can not imagine making it through the day without my cup of joe. i can picture my bnl adding up the tally now...that is 3.73 a day times five times how many weeks of school a year. i figure i have really not been able to drink in the past three years, i don't smoke, or carry any other bad habits. my shopping habit is focused on the girls because well, why would i buy my larger self a bunch of clothes. i have not really started any remodeling projects in the new house. and i work a lot of hours...without much of a "personal" pay so i DESERVE my addiction to starbucks. i guess the downside is annie is now wanting to have a milk box like her big sister. luckily, i am able to fool her by pretending to poor my coffee into her "milk cup" and she is falling for it!

i only like really crisp apples..if it does not crunch but gives just the slightest bit of mush in the bite i want to spit it out. sadly, the last few apples i have cut have given into the mush.

when jeff leaves with the laptop i am totally lost. yesterday we stayed in all day waiting for the ice storm. jeff gave the guys the day off (may have had something to do with him staying up on the computer till almost 3am the night before). we did have one of our guys 360 two years back and hit an overpass......so that is the official reason. i literally spent 4 hours or more on the computer yesterday while the girls napped or played. i am addicted to the word challenge game on facebook. it was a real accomplishment to get into the top three than finally last week i hit the number one spot only to be bumped down by my bnl in less than two days and i know he has not been playing this game like i have...jeff is leaving for new orleans today and probably taking the laptop so i must use it until he leaves, meaning no food or diaper changes for the girls. i must insist we get another lap top...i mean the computer in the office is for work, right?

my youngest child will eat for an hour if her high chair is parked in the living room especially at breakfast. she loves mickey mouse and handy manny.....i am sure i will receive a comment or two about how i am teaching her bad eating habits but whatever it gives me a moment to wake up and have quiet thoughts or like today write on my blog.

so, the girls have been battling colds. monday morning we rushed them to their doctor for a "nose swap" to ensure they did not have rsv, a severe virus with breathing problems, coughing and just plain ole misery. we were exposed twice last week by two different people so the chances were high. luckily, the prognosis was negative.....however, they do have a bonafide cold. last night annie woke up around 10 with a little hacking and once i picked her up she began the gag mechanism that results in vomit. jeff had
jumped up from the chair and met me half way to catch in his 6ft 4in hands the results of the gag....thank goodness because i have a very weak stomach and would have turned around with the gag reflex myself. once we had annie calmed down and cleaned up i tried to sit down on the couch to cuddle her. she started waling.....and squirming....which is very normal for her, however, once i put her down she ran, yes ran, to jeff and let him pick her up. she curled up in his arms and was asleep in minutes. i could not even concentrate on nip tuck after this....i know i have complained in the past because i have had to do everything for izzy, she always wants mommy, but to actually have one of my babies choose to go to dad over me....i did not know it would hurt so much. now, don't get me wrong i always knew it hurt jeff for izzy to need me for everything but hey, i do provide the hands on care 24 hours a day, i figured it was just natural. so, i eventually picked her up and put her in bed. part of me wonders if this is because i have been putting her to bed awake and letting her cry it out. can she really think i don't love her as much as "fun" dad??? is it because i ignore atleast half her fits....daddy always takes her mind off what made her so mad to begin with???? i can't help but think i need to nurture her more because obviously her nature is to run to her dad. well, it was a long night with izzy waking repeatedly with a fever and needing milk (i could not imagine drinking milk with a fever) and annie coughing herself into a crying fit...i am going to put my feet up and enjoy the last few moments i get to share with my lap top!