would oprah wave her finger in my face?

i find myself constantly wondering if i am not providing enough experiences for the girls. crazy thought, especially since they are only 20 and 6 months old.....you would think! for instance, i have been saying for months, "i need to sign izzy up for little gym" but have not done so. i started thinking it would be a good place for her acrobatic ways, for example, one day when i heard water rushing i found her on top of the toilet tank. i mean literally standing on top of the tank playing with a candle in the window...not such a scary thing except she was only 13 months old and just taking her first steps. so, if you are counting, little gym is the first of my slacken off parenting ways.


secondly, every week i have every intention of making it to one of 7 to 20 story time hours i have posted on my fridge. i started really well and began reading to izzy every day, three books before each nap and three before bed...then came the hey i need you to just go to sleep because mommy has a list of other things to do phase we are still in. i do take credit for her love of books and even now she tries to read them to herself because mommy is too busy. in particular she has one book and on every page we do something, like play peekaboo, clap our hands, tickle each other, or laugh out loud; well she now sits by herself and turns the pages and does it my herself. one part of me thinks wow, izzy is so smart and the side of reality is how awful am i, it only takes two minutes to read together and she loves it. (tomorrow is cleaning day and i am determined to make it to story time...i will let you know if we make it)


The third thing is my lack of interest in play dates....i am just not one of those social people. i don't make friends easily and rarely fit in with a group of girls. i just am so damn opinionated! so how does this effect my 20 month old...well, she only interacts with a few chosen friends and i am still terrified of leaving her in the gym daycare. it is not that i think they will not watch her, it is she has this habit (since birth) of crying until she vomits....and she uses this ability whenever possible. i have to give her credit, she will now stay with a select few people and does anything daddy wants her too, so she is getting better.


maybe all these thoughts occur because i have friends who started their children in music classes @ 8 months old, have done little gym from birth (pretty much), interact in playdates, mops (not sure exactly what this is, but i am on the waiting list), and started "school" by one. (izzy does start in the fall at university christan church) these are also my friends whom prepare dinner daily, find time for girls night out, massages/pedicures and remarkably have lost all their baby weight.


as for Annie, my 6 month old, she has it made....she has izzy to read to her, play with her, and best of all, izzy does all the things she should be doing in little gym on top of her sister.


maybe oprah or my children will ignore my shortcomings....i am just so damn busy with running a company, raising two, yes two kiddos under the age of two, keeping up with a 13 year old nephew who is living here so he does not have to live away from his friends and school, a husband (who is increasingly finding his own way around here, once again from my neglect i am sure), 1 dog and 3 cats. just think we are thinking of another baby sometime next year......i just may be crazy!